Somehow or rather, my worst fears came true. Way before this attachment starts, i already got information that i will be working in this industry. I know myself best in terms of strength and weakness. I was given a choice in working in another industry but given that i already make that choice in the first place, i might as well stick to my choice and see how it goes. It was something that i wont regret no matter what the end results will be, as been in a job scope that im rather weak in. I would take it as an experience gained rather than an opportunity lost.
How wrong i am!
The environment itself is like a war zone. The expectations from both sides (customers and management) is beyond what i could have imagined. What you say to customers must not be offending to them to such a point that a PR script is readied in case you unable to answer the queries.
After 2 months of guarding the gate no matter how hard i try, management isnt pleased with the performances and pull me out. They have put me in another dept where i could brush up my soft skills.
Oh well, the remaining 2 months attachment is the last chance for me, if not i would have to redo the 6 months attachment again.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Lowest ebb
Today is a day where all kinds of feelings come into play. And for the first time that i could remembered, today is the day that i feel the lowest. Compared to the past incidents where i have no control for what i have done, today is also the day where i did nothing yet still in low spirits.
I dont know whether is it because of work or because of my own actions in the past incidents where consequences have started to haunt me. But i only know that i have admit to what i have done and take full responsibilities of it. If the feeling is due to both work and past incidents, i have to run the full course.
There is no way to run away or escape from it. Sometimes i wish i could have a heart to heart talk with someone that im close to or to go to the beach where im comfortable with, sit down and stare blankly into the sky.
My mind right now is very tired from the undue stress.
I dont know whether is it because of work or because of my own actions in the past incidents where consequences have started to haunt me. But i only know that i have admit to what i have done and take full responsibilities of it. If the feeling is due to both work and past incidents, i have to run the full course.
There is no way to run away or escape from it. Sometimes i wish i could have a heart to heart talk with someone that im close to or to go to the beach where im comfortable with, sit down and stare blankly into the sky.
My mind right now is very tired from the undue stress.
Sunday, November 01, 2009
For a change
A blink of an eye and 2009 is coming to a close. This is a year which i would rather not remembered. This is the year where anything that could happen, have happen.
All my goals and ambitions that i wished to achieve or complete for this year is put on hold till next year. Not that i wanted to procrastinate but rather the wrong steps that i took.
Every year is the same old thing where you wish to have a good and prosperous year, yet get to see and do the wrong things all over again. The only wish i have right now is not to have history repeat all over again.
Wishlist for 2010:
1. Get a job that i really like and love doing rather than for the sake of money
2. Complete my unfinished targeted goals
3. Live a contented life, work hard to achieve the dream as there is no short-cut to success
4. Work in overseas
5. Get a girlfriend (im laughing out loud myself over this wish.. hahahahha)
Speaking of which, the last wish is something that i intend to salvage. The time and committment is still not there where i admit other priorities came first such as my family and my work.
All my goals and ambitions that i wished to achieve or complete for this year is put on hold till next year. Not that i wanted to procrastinate but rather the wrong steps that i took.
Every year is the same old thing where you wish to have a good and prosperous year, yet get to see and do the wrong things all over again. The only wish i have right now is not to have history repeat all over again.
Wishlist for 2010:
1. Get a job that i really like and love doing rather than for the sake of money
2. Complete my unfinished targeted goals
3. Live a contented life, work hard to achieve the dream as there is no short-cut to success
4. Work in overseas
5. Get a girlfriend (im laughing out loud myself over this wish.. hahahahha)
Speaking of which, the last wish is something that i intend to salvage. The time and committment is still not there where i admit other priorities came first such as my family and my work.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Pursuing dreams
1 month plus into the attachment, I have know the answer whether the job is suitable for me.
Im more or less know the path that is been lay out in front of me.
I would rather pursue something that achieve my goal, my ambition and my dream, rather than pursuing for money.
Money cant buy everything, especially happiness and satisfaction.
Im not saying that im dissatified, but rather this job is not meant for me.
Im more or less know the path that is been lay out in front of me.
I would rather pursue something that achieve my goal, my ambition and my dream, rather than pursuing for money.
Money cant buy everything, especially happiness and satisfaction.
Im not saying that im dissatified, but rather this job is not meant for me.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
I miss being a little boy
LOL!! I just couldnt resist posting it. Every men will definitely want to be in those little boys' position and take advantage. Though chances of shouting rape or molest is very slim, I doubt Singapore women will allow little boys to do such a thing. The most they will teach the little boy a lesson. I wonder what else Singapore women will do if they are in the situation?
Friday, October 16, 2009
Dilemma
Currently im on 6 months attachment and the environment suits me. Fast-paced but very stressful. However, the only downside of the job is when you did something wrong, the consequences is double-fold.
I have 4 months to go before my attachment ends, and with the only route after graduation is to work. And i got to make a major decision which allows me to stay after my attachment or to find another company.
That's where my dilemma comes in. I know the economy is picking up and banks have started hiring people. I also know that i have to start from bottom of the ladder and gain experience before jumping ship or whatsoever. I need to find something that really interests me.
Im quite interested being a trader, be it in forex or stock. But i need the certification before being a trader. Im still keeping my options open should my current attachment have openings for a full-time job.
At the mean time, the road ahead is dark and unclear to me.
I have 4 months to go before my attachment ends, and with the only route after graduation is to work. And i got to make a major decision which allows me to stay after my attachment or to find another company.
That's where my dilemma comes in. I know the economy is picking up and banks have started hiring people. I also know that i have to start from bottom of the ladder and gain experience before jumping ship or whatsoever. I need to find something that really interests me.
Im quite interested being a trader, be it in forex or stock. But i need the certification before being a trader. Im still keeping my options open should my current attachment have openings for a full-time job.
At the mean time, the road ahead is dark and unclear to me.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Rebuilding
With the problem firmly behind me, i've began to realise that certain goals are impossible to reach given the limited resources and time. Thus, all the advice given to me at that time is priceless to me now.
Everyone have their goals and ambitions to fulfil. Same goes for me but i have to bear in mind of the realistic goals to fulfil, not impossible goals anymore. You could imagine how risk-adverse, ambitious and advantageous i am at that time.
Now i take one step at a time, taking each day at it is. Guess it's also the time to find back all my interests or pursue new hobbies to keep me content and humble.
Everyone have their goals and ambitions to fulfil. Same goes for me but i have to bear in mind of the realistic goals to fulfil, not impossible goals anymore. You could imagine how risk-adverse, ambitious and advantageous i am at that time.
Now i take one step at a time, taking each day at it is. Guess it's also the time to find back all my interests or pursue new hobbies to keep me content and humble.
Saturday, October 03, 2009
New chapter of life
I have finally put an end to my problems and troubles. This chapter of my life will considered the darkest and the most expensive lesson i have encountered.
Currently starting a new chapter in life in my 6 months attachment. I would consider lucky that i didnt bring any emotional lugguage along. The line between work and personal life is so clear that i only mentioned work to those whom i have know in my training class.
A sincere gratitude to those who stand by me during these period of time especially Jaywalk, my poly friends (Yue Yang and Kok Seng), my pastor and brothers and sisters in Christ, my academic manager and tutors who got to know about it.
Thank you and i believe that i have owed alot of favours to these people.
Currently starting a new chapter in life in my 6 months attachment. I would consider lucky that i didnt bring any emotional lugguage along. The line between work and personal life is so clear that i only mentioned work to those whom i have know in my training class.
A sincere gratitude to those who stand by me during these period of time especially Jaywalk, my poly friends (Yue Yang and Kok Seng), my pastor and brothers and sisters in Christ, my academic manager and tutors who got to know about it.
Thank you and i believe that i have owed alot of favours to these people.
Monday, September 21, 2009
蘇永康 - 相遇太早
當我們再度相視微笑
成熟的心有一點蒼老
許多的傷痛都已經忘掉
記憶裡剩下的全是美好
* 妳我都找到新的依靠
過去對錯已不再重要
只是我們都清楚地知道
心裡還有個劃不完的句號 *
# 只怪妳和我相愛得太早
對於幸福又了解的太少
於是自私讓愛變成煎熬
付出了所有卻讓彼此想逃跑
上天讓我們相遇得太早
對於緣份卻又給得太少
才讓我們只能 陷在回憶中 懊惱 #
Repeat * # #
才讓我們只能 陷在回憶中 懊惱
----------------------------------
上天讓我們相遇得太早 對於緣份卻又給得太少
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Great Importance
A few weeks back, i still remembered very clearly that it was before exams that i lost a friend of a great importance. Though we were not close enough to forge a bond over the last 3 years, her bubbly characteristics leave a very deep impression on me.
I admit that my heart rule over my head, acted too fast and in a way scare her off when i confess my feelings to her. Although not really a direct confession, i guess her sixth sense give her the hint. And that where everything goes downhill.
I also admit that there are certain things i have say in such a way was in a fit of anger and in a harsh tone that speed up the breakdown of the friendship. Despite all the things that she have done from the day i confess, i have never given up on her as a friend (not someone that i like) at all. This shows how much faith i have put in her even though the communication level was very low.
To me, i will still treat her as a friend. Though i know that the chances of salvaging the friendship is very slim, but i still hope (i know is not very hopeful) that i could help her in one way or another, should there be such a request.
I admit that my heart rule over my head, acted too fast and in a way scare her off when i confess my feelings to her. Although not really a direct confession, i guess her sixth sense give her the hint. And that where everything goes downhill.
I also admit that there are certain things i have say in such a way was in a fit of anger and in a harsh tone that speed up the breakdown of the friendship. Despite all the things that she have done from the day i confess, i have never given up on her as a friend (not someone that i like) at all. This shows how much faith i have put in her even though the communication level was very low.
To me, i will still treat her as a friend. Though i know that the chances of salvaging the friendship is very slim, but i still hope (i know is not very hopeful) that i could help her in one way or another, should there be such a request.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Blissful Couple
This Youtube video was reported in the newspaper. At first, i wondered what the hooha all about the bride laughing at her wedded husband for accidentally pronouncing the wrong word. After seeing it, i get to understand the bride's feeling.
A "happily ever after" marriage after all.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Christina Glass - My Love Will Get You Home
If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.
If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.
If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home,
Boy, my love will get you home.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Who meant the most to you?
An interesting email to share..
Do you have any idea of who meant the most to you?
There is this guy who loves two gals at the same time but he don't know which one he loves more. Someone taught him : "If you are happy, who you think of first?
If you think of her, she is the one you love more." NO, THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO TEST THE FORMULA OF LOVE.......
Ask yourself this question honestly:
"When you are sad, which gal/guy you want to share your burden with?" If you think of that gal/guy first, she/he is the one that you love more. However if you think of the same gal/guy when you are happy & sad, that's the most perfect. But if you didn't think of the same gal/guy, I would advise you to chose the one you are willing to share your sadness with.
In life, there are more sorrows than happiness. There are too many people whom you can share your happiness with, not necessary your lover. If you live your life happily, you can also enjoy it alone. Sadness, however not many people is willing to share burden with you. If you willing to tell her/him your unhappiness, she/he got to be someone who is closest & most understanding to you. In other words, if she/he only think of you when she/he is happy, but look for someone else when she/he is sad. This kind of lover is too unstable, she/he didn't treat you as someone she/he can spend the rest of her life with.
Of course, I will be very happy if I am the first person to share her/his happiness. But, if she/he is sad, I will be too willing to stay by her/his side & ease her/his pain. Only then, I will believe I hold a very important position in her/his heart.
If you are sad, who comes to your mind first?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friendship is a strange thing. We find ourselves telling each other the deepest details of our lives ... things we don't even share with the families who raised us.
But what is a friend? A confidant? A shoulder to cry on? An ear to listen? A heart to feel? A friend is all these ... and more. No matter where we met, no matter how long we've been together ... I call you friend. A word so small, yet so large in feeling, a word filled with emotion, a word overflowing with love. Truly great things come in small packages.
Once the package of friendship has been opened, it can never be closed.
It is a constant book always waiting ...waiting to be read and enjoyed. We may have our disagreements ... we may have our disappointments...we may argue...we may concern one another.
Friendship is a unique bond that lasts through all tribulations. A part of each of us goes into our friendships... our humor ...our experiences ... our tears.
Friendships are foundation ...necessary for life ... and love.
Do you have any idea of who meant the most to you?
There is this guy who loves two gals at the same time but he don't know which one he loves more. Someone taught him : "If you are happy, who you think of first?
If you think of her, she is the one you love more." NO, THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO TEST THE FORMULA OF LOVE.......
Ask yourself this question honestly:
"When you are sad, which gal/guy you want to share your burden with?" If you think of that gal/guy first, she/he is the one that you love more. However if you think of the same gal/guy when you are happy & sad, that's the most perfect. But if you didn't think of the same gal/guy, I would advise you to chose the one you are willing to share your sadness with.
In life, there are more sorrows than happiness. There are too many people whom you can share your happiness with, not necessary your lover. If you live your life happily, you can also enjoy it alone. Sadness, however not many people is willing to share burden with you. If you willing to tell her/him your unhappiness, she/he got to be someone who is closest & most understanding to you. In other words, if she/he only think of you when she/he is happy, but look for someone else when she/he is sad. This kind of lover is too unstable, she/he didn't treat you as someone she/he can spend the rest of her life with.
Of course, I will be very happy if I am the first person to share her/his happiness. But, if she/he is sad, I will be too willing to stay by her/his side & ease her/his pain. Only then, I will believe I hold a very important position in her/his heart.
If you are sad, who comes to your mind first?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friendship is a strange thing. We find ourselves telling each other the deepest details of our lives ... things we don't even share with the families who raised us.
But what is a friend? A confidant? A shoulder to cry on? An ear to listen? A heart to feel? A friend is all these ... and more. No matter where we met, no matter how long we've been together ... I call you friend. A word so small, yet so large in feeling, a word filled with emotion, a word overflowing with love. Truly great things come in small packages.
Once the package of friendship has been opened, it can never be closed.
It is a constant book always waiting ...waiting to be read and enjoyed. We may have our disagreements ... we may have our disappointments...we may argue...we may concern one another.
Friendship is a unique bond that lasts through all tribulations. A part of each of us goes into our friendships... our humor ...our experiences ... our tears.
Friendships are foundation ...necessary for life ... and love.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Optimistic mindset
Yesterday night, i did some soul searching or even took a step back and review what i have done so far. In the midst of changing my blog layout and also preparing for exams at the same time, i have the whole night to ponder.
Currently, i have an ongoing situation which seem to be endless. The nightmare started on 24 July. And it has pretty drained me mentally and physically. It has also distracted me in my studies so much that i have to inform my tutors and advisor about it. The only hope i have now is to solve it as soon as possible. One reason i cant do anything to solve it is because of my limited resources. I have to leave it to third parties interference to settle it. It is out of my hands now and need to shift my priority to my exams.
Sometimes people are too quick to judge that they dont give me a chance to explain. I cant blame them either. But i have only one advise for you and that is: if you think you are in a worse situation, think of people around you. they might be in a more worse situation than you. is just that they never show it.
Thank God for the optimistic mindset He have given it to me. If not, i would have done something very pessimistic.
Currently, i have an ongoing situation which seem to be endless. The nightmare started on 24 July. And it has pretty drained me mentally and physically. It has also distracted me in my studies so much that i have to inform my tutors and advisor about it. The only hope i have now is to solve it as soon as possible. One reason i cant do anything to solve it is because of my limited resources. I have to leave it to third parties interference to settle it. It is out of my hands now and need to shift my priority to my exams.
Sometimes people are too quick to judge that they dont give me a chance to explain. I cant blame them either. But i have only one advise for you and that is: if you think you are in a worse situation, think of people around you. they might be in a more worse situation than you. is just that they never show it.
Thank God for the optimistic mindset He have given it to me. If not, i would have done something very pessimistic.
Friday, August 14, 2009
New layout
I have changed the layout and make it a simpler one. Blogger have make it easier with the additional of widgets which i will be adding some new stuff to my blog. Total time took to change, modified and adding new things to the blog: 1 hr.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Disposable friends
Sometimes im just very amused at how some people treat friends like some kind of disposable items. Some friends in my circle know about my problems because they are older and more experienced in giving advices. As for the rest, the reason i cannot share with them is because they are inexperienced or do not have the ability to help. Neither do i want to increase their burden by making my problem their problem. And i got blamed for not telling them?!?!
Sometimes i also wondered whether the way they say is a true reflection of their personality. Is just like you say it, you meant it. Yet on the other hand, you also doing the same thing. Pot calling kettle black.
There is no way i can please everyone. If there is, i will be a very busy person. Please dont jump to conclusion just because i dont want to say. It's just that you have no means or the ability to help.
Sometimes i also wondered whether the way they say is a true reflection of their personality. Is just like you say it, you meant it. Yet on the other hand, you also doing the same thing. Pot calling kettle black.
There is no way i can please everyone. If there is, i will be a very busy person. Please dont jump to conclusion just because i dont want to say. It's just that you have no means or the ability to help.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Sincere apologises
In the past, whenever i got into a situation, i always seek the easy way out in asking for help. It has become such a routine that i always get the 'Get out of jail free' card every single time.
It was until this incident that i refused to ask for help that i finally got to know the severity of my mistakes.
I also know that because of my own self-centerness as seen in the previous incident posts which i have blogged, and also because of not giving others the consideration, i have actually lost more than what i have thought.
I admit my mistakes and sincerely apologises to those who have been affected by my own selfish actions.
It was until this incident that i refused to ask for help that i finally got to know the severity of my mistakes.
I also know that because of my own self-centerness as seen in the previous incident posts which i have blogged, and also because of not giving others the consideration, i have actually lost more than what i have thought.
I admit my mistakes and sincerely apologises to those who have been affected by my own selfish actions.
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Final post
As of 07 August 2009, I am done with my studies. Im still not sure whether the decision of doing full time studies over the last 3 years is justifiable. Priorities have change over time and immediate concerns are still towards my family. With 2 breadwinners, to pass by each and every single day without problem is a blessing from God.
I believe that as most of my update status is in Facebook, the moment i posted something not very good, the first thing was to come to my blog and find out what has happened. However, this time round, i really couldnt disclose anything even if i wanted to. I want to ask for help again, but it's beyond the limits of a human. I choose to remain quiet and have not stir up big shit as before. And because of my previous actions, i have actually strained the relationships to 3 groups of people.
So far, the support that i have received so far has been very encouraging. Thanks Lord for that if not, i dont think i still have the sanity to keep it going.
On a seperate note, i enjoy the time that i had in poly life. I have a project group that we have been together since year 1. I could have praise my project team till there is no tomorrow but one great thing about them is we cover each other weakness and improve on our strengths. The only regret so far is i never had a chance to work with someone that i once liked. Not a single time but nevertheless, all the best to her. I wonder if there is any opportunity in the future to communicate with her or to work with her. Not very hopeful, actually.
This will be my final post at the moment and hopefully, if God willing, the situation will be solved once and for all.
I believe that as most of my update status is in Facebook, the moment i posted something not very good, the first thing was to come to my blog and find out what has happened. However, this time round, i really couldnt disclose anything even if i wanted to. I want to ask for help again, but it's beyond the limits of a human. I choose to remain quiet and have not stir up big shit as before. And because of my previous actions, i have actually strained the relationships to 3 groups of people.
So far, the support that i have received so far has been very encouraging. Thanks Lord for that if not, i dont think i still have the sanity to keep it going.
On a seperate note, i enjoy the time that i had in poly life. I have a project group that we have been together since year 1. I could have praise my project team till there is no tomorrow but one great thing about them is we cover each other weakness and improve on our strengths. The only regret so far is i never had a chance to work with someone that i once liked. Not a single time but nevertheless, all the best to her. I wonder if there is any opportunity in the future to communicate with her or to work with her. Not very hopeful, actually.
This will be my final post at the moment and hopefully, if God willing, the situation will be solved once and for all.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Beijing Olympics Logo
Ok, this is very outdated since Beijing Olympics 2008 was one year back. zzz
Ever wonder how they got the logo from?
Enjoy the moment.
Ready to fire!
Alamak! Dirty our wall.
Eh, Olympics is coming and still haven come out with a logo right. I think we have something in mind.
Ta-da!
Ever wonder how they got the logo from?
Enjoy the moment.
Ready to fire!
Alamak! Dirty our wall.
Eh, Olympics is coming and still haven come out with a logo right. I think we have something in mind.
Ta-da!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Changes within me
I guess i have reach saturation point where im feeling tired mentally and physically.
I also know that i have send an apology sms to someone but i dont think it really meant anything or any significance.
I no longer hold the belief where time will change everything or heal wounds.
I also realise that i have changed to such an extent that i no longer recognise myself anymore.
I also know that my feelings for someone has come to a point where i no longer feel anything. To me, i find that her priorities are more on the current job that she is having right now than anything else. That's my point of view. I wont be surprised if she sees it and rebukes me again.
I also know that i have send an apology sms to someone but i dont think it really meant anything or any significance.
I no longer hold the belief where time will change everything or heal wounds.
I also realise that i have changed to such an extent that i no longer recognise myself anymore.
I also know that my feelings for someone has come to a point where i no longer feel anything. To me, i find that her priorities are more on the current job that she is having right now than anything else. That's my point of view. I wont be surprised if she sees it and rebukes me again.
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