Waned Enthusiasm

This decision abit of impromptu. Work is getting routine at the moment that i need to recharge my mind and body.

Thinking of going Bintan for some beach activities, but ask people at the wrong time due to studying, working or have their own activities.

Now might have a change of plan of where to go. Oh well.

Count on Me Remix - NDP 2010

This is one of the few songs that make it to my all-time favourites for NDP. This song is a remix of the traditional 'Count on me' where it is rapped by Jay Park. Heard it quite alot of times during rehearsal, NE show, preview and the actual day that i find it tirelessly over the internet for the source of the song.

Confirmation

Ok, the confirmation is official now as the job scope will be more starting on 1st Sep. I am literally taking on 3 people job, which my manager say that i should be able to cope with it.

Not much info to blog except that i partipated in my first ever NDP 2010 as a volunteer. We have to go through a series of training and attend NDP rehearsals. By the time the actual day comes, we already know what is the programme at the back of our hand.

Next up will be YOG where i will be volunteering again. The volunteering bug have bite me hard!!

After the YOG, my weekends will be free and will be spending lots of time in the bed. With the additional job load, i guess the time to laze on the bed is justifiable. Hahah..

OneRepublic - Secrets

I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
Til' all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw wink, no
I've been on the brink, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

My god, amazing how we got this far
It's like we're chasing all those stars
Who's driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news
All the problems that we could solve
And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album
Singing straight, too cold
I don't really like my flow, no, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

Oh, got no reason, got not shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don't let me disappear
I'mma tell you everything

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
All my secrets away, All my secrets away

New Proposal

For the first 3 months on the job, i was assigned to 2 buyers. After that one of them left due to promotion, but i still have to continue the job scope for the 2 buyers.

Now with a new buyer coming in next month, my current buyer is proposing to me that she could take over the promoted buyer's work scope and give the current projects to the new buyer.

What that means is that i might be taking in more job responsibilities and reports to do. The promoted buyer's projects are bigger, largest and oldest in the group, so by right, my current buyer should take over, and not the new buyer. My current buyer is afraid that the new buyer might not be able to handle the workload.

Now I am mentally prepared and anticipate for the upcoming changes next month.

Evanescence - My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

[Chorus]

Birthday

With a few hours left to go on my special day, will like to thank all friends and colleagues that make it special.

Afterall, is the thought that counts.

Not a very good day as I literally stay awake to watch World Cup Final between Holland and Spain, and then left for work after the match.

Going to take an early rest after this post.

Independent Analyst

My personalDNA Report

I find this test to be quite true. Heh, enjoy!

Trip cancelled because of flood

Bite the hands that feed

Now I have a rough idea who have been reading my blog all these times, the moment I confronted someone directly, the viewing stops completely.

And now I have the same person biting the hand that feeds her. Right from the start, I did not take that person as a friend for granted, which I fervently trying to salvage. I mean, look, even a 3-yr old kid could see that and in return, say that I dont appreciate her. What the hell?!?!

So she is willing to go to all extent to do that, just to make me hate her. Wow, I really have to hand it to her.

Since she so like to have karma in her life, I believe she will learn it the hard way herself. She wants to continue to lie and yet wanting to find love in her life, by all means. She really need to improve her EQ, especially on her Facebook and MSN.

Last message

It was a game of "True or Dare" that went very wrong.

All I wanted is to salvage a very simple friendship but yet I get in return are all lies. It's doesnt help either when friends are siding her. I stop the argument with one of her friends before it got worse.

This friendship is not meant to be despite 3 years of good memories. Even though I never get to speak to her on a regular basis during these 3 years, it wont change anything.

I dont deserve a tear from her, neither do I deserve this kind of treatment from her.

All the best and wish you happiness.

World Cup 2010

I am taking a break from penning my rollar-coasting life due to the on-going World Cup matches. Will be back after the tournament.

Cold comfort

I guess I have been way too optimistic that I could change the way it was 3 years back, in 1 day.
I guess all the memories in the whole of 3 years are all memorable to me, no matter how bad or how good it turns out to be.

No anger or a tinge of sadness from me, just feeling very numb.

Odd one out

Can someone tell me what's wrong with this picture?

Settled

I am more or less settled in my job where it has become a 2nd nature to me. I am not saying this is the perfect job but it's something that really suit my personality and character.

Though I need to report to my supervisor if I dont know anything, but she let me handle on my own, as I am dealing with customers and suppliers. The freedom is there, which is what I like.

Secondly, I can get to surf net, listen to music and chat with friends online.

Thirdly, my dress code is smart casual. No need to wear formal or office wear to work. I find that im just like going to school but getting a monthly pay.

My next aim now is to help someone find her smile and laughter back and at the same time, further my studies.

Belief

I am not angry, neither am I have the energy nor the mood to scold. I am just demoralised that I dont have the right to be a friend.

I still want to believe in her, despite what she have told me.

Dont Stop Believin' - Glee

Just a small town girl
Living in a lonely world
She took the midnight train going anywhere
Just a city boy
Born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train going anywhere

A singer in a smoky room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

{Refrain}
Strangers, waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Paying anything to roll the dice
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

{Refrain}

Don't stop believing
Hold on to that feeling
Streetlight people

-----------------------------
Im not a fan of Glee and neither do I watch the series. But I find this song very catchy.

A valuable friend

If there is any regrets in my life now, I would say this is my 2nd regret. The first regret happened also in my poly days, but the effect does not have a big impact as this one.

No matter what I say now, I do not know whether it will be of any use. I dont even know whether she still remember me as a friend, to say the least.

Last time I told her that "I just want you to be happy.." But I never fulfill it for her. I was not around or by her side when things happen. How I wish I could turn back time or make amendment. I wish to be around by her side, but I guess it just pure daydreaming.

I have alot of things to tell her, to ask her. Like whether is she furthering her studies, or working full-time in a bank. I really wish to lent a listening ear to her whether she had a bad day at workplace or just pure ranting. These are just basic things a friend can do and will do.

I dont wish for anything more or less, just a simple and an invaluable friendship that I yearn to have. I dont want to lose this friendship at all, not even once in poly days.

I really dont care whether she is single or attached, I just want to be a normal friend. Does it sound so difficult?

If only she see this message..

Pics galore

Some pictures from the outing..


Jump shot fail


Jump shot


Jump shot 2


Jump shot 3

Company outing

Nothing unusual or new things to blog, as majority of my time is now spend on work.

Last week went to Marina Bay Sands for company outing. Had fun but the heat was a killer. I was under the sun for 2 hours and enough to dehydrate me. Then the next day have to do JP Morgan Corporate Challenge Run at F1 pit building. 2 days same spot, same heat = immune system down already.

On Friday, return to office only to see a big mess. Cannot trust colleagues to do my workload as double work have to be done and redo all over again. Not fully recover from dehydration yet still stay throughout the office to clear the mess.

At this rate im going, it will be a matter of time of when im taking a long MC. Need to recover fast..