A Medium To Let Out

i feel that this is a good medium to let out..rather than people listening to you and in their minds, might be cursing you..and in a way you can speak out what you want without having fear of offending them..hehe.. as in changing their names to a fictional ones or some nicknames to go along..hahaha..and of course you will not get to hear all the bad stuff...

my moods can really change to the extreme from one moment to another.. but i have to thank my team for giving me a pat on the shoulder and carry on with life and the work that i have to face everyday.. Im currently working as a base guard in Police k-9 Dog unit..working 2 days off 2 days..and without my team support, i dont think i able to survive this far.. by blogging it out as well is also a good way to take it all out and feel refresh afterwards... at least much better..

im still waiting for the msg to send over despite her hectic schedule..hmm..i have to confess i forgotten what i have send to her and that why i ask her to send..till now still no msg...i dont mind the late reply..but pls send it back to me what i have send to you..even if i do get the reply, i donno what to do as well..donno what my next step will be..

i have been trying to take one step at a time but in vain..the steps in front are all invisible to me.. whether to let it all go or strengthen the friendship..but i find it hard to strengthen the friendship because of what i done in the past..sigh... and her timing is just too perfectly for me to wait here like a moron...if i let it all go, will it be gone forever? or will it come back? questions and more questions..hai..only that msg can answer all my questions..that msg is the key to unlock and able to know what my next path will be...

despite all these..i donno where our friendship stands now..from an acquiantance to giving advice as a friend to having feelings for her, my memory still lingers in my mind the moment i think of the past..but what i have done as a friend, to her, she could have never heed the advices that i gave her and ignore my efforts in doing it...well..i have been there done that before..and got used to it to such as an extent..im immune to it..

how i wish she could just send that msg to end my misery!!!