Emo-ness

sitting on the cold floor of the bathroom, mind was not thinking about taking a bath.. though i was stark naked, my mind wanders to the past.. with my eyes closed, i reach out to the knob, and turn on the shower.. with water hitting on my head, tears began to flow down with the water..

"what have i done to deserve this kind of state or treatment?"
"what kind of friends are you all showing to me right now?"
"what is the purpose of putting the mask on?"
"why the need to tell lies to me?"
"why put a knife behind my back while you are smiling at my side?"

the natural breeze send a chill in me and awoke my senses to the reality.. i feel nothing despite the heater is not on.. all my mind can only read one word, "BETRAYED!!"..

anger have consumed my appetite.. sadness have taken away my happiness.. but somehow, despite the spiritual fall, there was a last ounce of energy in me to declare this, "time to move on..friends are measured by the trial of time.. friends are those who stay by your side despite bad times happen to you.. where are these friends? they are still staying by my side for the last 11 yrs.. though far and few, it enough for me.. the rest, i donno.. or should i say, dont push your luck?!"

optimistic in me is back, with a new scar shown at the back.. water have not wash my guilt or sin away.. but it show a reflection in me what i can improve on.. maybe mentally and the awareness to trust new friends..

with that in mind, i turn off the knob and dry myself.. and clothed myself to hid the scar..

Thanks for the scar you all have given me!!