Puzzled

All these years, i have never give any trouble to anyone. Not to my friends, not to my church friends, not even to the barflies. Till this incident.

But there is something i still cannot understand until now despite my problem is been cleared once and for all.

The person that helped me, i have the contact in my phone for like 5-6 years, yet i never take the effort to contact. For both incidents, i look for other people like my friend to get me out of the shithole. I thought i was out of the shithole till he also got an emergency to attend and need the funds back. I browsed my phone book for donno how many times yet i still can overlook the contact. Mind you, for both incidents, i actually overlook it. I never blame my friend for helping out, just that i was expecting someone who is more financially stronger to help.

I will never forget how desperate and at my wits end at that time with time approaching fast to the deadline. I only know that i keep browsing and browsing for the help that i wanted. From A to Z, Z to A. The last hour was really the last throw of the dice till something tells me, "Look very carefully.."

"I have already exhausted all contacts and i have to look through again, what a joke!" That was what my mind was telling me. So i just obey and slowly browse till i saw the name. It was like a rock been lifted up beneath me. For once, i never have such peace or relief for 3 weeks.

But i also know that i have lost more from what i have done.