what a buddy i have.. he cant even let me have a peaceful sleep in this cool weather.. ask me out for a movie and went for a buffet..
im so bloated from all the varieties of food taken... shark fin, sashimi, BBQ food..you name it they have it.. it's at Marina Square.. Pariss International Seafood Buffet Restaurant.. 5 star service, 5 star restaurant.. most prob will be celebrating my birthday at this place..hehe..
i remembered very vividly from the first celebration that i had with my friends and buddies.. that was in sec 2..and from then on, i make it a point to celebrate with them every yr without fail.. activities range from going to restaurant and have a feast..hehe.. movies, pool, bowling, driving, arcade, ktv and supper.. and everytime, there is always something to remember, whether good or bad.. this will be the 8th yr..
just have a chat with a friend from overseas..get to know her in a game that we play long ago..but it is closed now as there is no sponsors.. missed the time that we meet online at a specified time to attack other players when they are sleeping..lol..
here is some of the extracts of the conversation..
Me: "roding a dragon across the desert, the rider saw a familiar tarvern that withstood armageddon.. the dragon glows in delight for it has seen fellow dragons wandering around without any owners in sight.. "they are here.." mutters the rider.. getting off from the dragon, he enter the tarvern and feel the nostalgia.. he walked past every fame of glory where all our battles are recorded and to the bartender.. "give me something that can take away my memory.."
Her: Oh hi! I miss you hun. I too missed the time that we had together. Oh, what happened mate? This drink is on the house.
told her about the problem.. and see the extracts for yourself..
Her: Hmm. Don't worry, hun. The solution that she got is temp. She need someone to give her a solution that is able to fix it all. Maybe that person is you? lmao.
Me: me? lol.. i dont think so.. she thinks im oversensitive for it.. and after that she thinks that im good pal, an added bonus to her life.. what is she thinking..
Her: Give her time. I can see that you are offering a very different solution to her, maybe she doesn't want to accept it.
Me: Tina, i cant make up for the lost time just for her..
Her: Oh well, i know your plight. Son. Just carry on with life. When the time comes, she will know what to do.
Me: wow.. hehe.. same sentiments as well.. i donno.. i just have to look on the bright side of life..
Her: Haha!! Good.
Me: sigh.. i really wish to play that game with all the pals especially you and Blacksol.. never have a chance to rape you in it..rofl..
Her: Yeap! Go ahead hun. All the guys in it are waiting for that rare chance. I seem to be too high in ranking for them to get to my foot.
Me: yeah.. gee..is really cool talking to you.. just this little advice is heavenly..
Her: No worries. Oh, got to go. Children waiting for me to fetch from school. Chat with you some other day. Take care.
just a few minutes of chat with a loved one so far away from USA, the feeling doesnt come any better..
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Things to ponder
time to give your mind to think about something..hehe.. just imagine this: i dont have this blog and didnt communicate with someone for like 5-6 weeks.. out of sudden, we talk everything under the sun, anything nice you can think of.. meeting up, celebration of birthday, etc..without going into details of problems that person is facing.. for some freaking weird reason, give her this blog add.. anyone dare to think what happen next?
that person make a fuss out of what i blog..now is this scenerio a lack of communication or miscommunication? and trying to shift the blame to me.. not only that, she divert my attention purely to what i blog, but not telling me about the problems that she face..
25/3/05 was her birthday celebration.. she show me one of her personality.. 2 days ago, she show another one of her personality to me while smsing.. yesterday night another personality of her show up..only thing i know is that im confused..but i decided to make a stand to it..
even without this blog, that person took too long to clear up the matter.. im not going to be a stupid idiot waiting for the next move..
just find out something.. for those who born under aries.. they are courageous leaders. it is rare that they will use their subordinates to obtain their objectives as leaders, but occasionally it does happen. They do not make very good followers because they are too "take charge". They maybe unwilling to obey or submit to direction for which they can see no reason, or with which they disagree. They are self-reliant but also self-centred sometimes, and only concerned with their own advancement. Their social and romantic ambitions certainly seem to be playing a dominant role. However they may have such great hopes that they try to push people into roles that dont suit them. In return, resentment ensures, and then nobody will be satisfied.
whatever decisions that i make, whatever post that i have blog, i know that i cant please everyone.. if everyone have the same mindset, same views, same principles..isnt that a bore?
be it in my previous place of study or in my training ground, i was the only christian.. the scenerio will be very different if i just have someone from the same religion to know what i go through, to pray for me, to comfort me.. i have to make a stand as a christian and not to succumb to peer pressure.. if not i really have to question myself or having doubts crept into my mind..
God gives us trials to test us, that at the end of the day, we can be a perfect, if not near perfect, person.. to be a christian and not to go through sufferings or trials from God, i think that person really have to examine himself.. what is the purpose of coming to this evil, unfair world? to have fun, to seek God, or other purposes which i cant think of? i rather suffer now, and enjoy the benefits later.. God have say this, "i have reserve the best for my children.."
when the going gets tough, i can prove that im a very tough nut to crack.. as long as what i do i think is right.. i dont care what other people say..so long i dont have a guilty conscience.. im here to please God..not to please mankind.. even if the odds are stacked against me, as long as i have the will, i have a way to solve it..
that person make a fuss out of what i blog..now is this scenerio a lack of communication or miscommunication? and trying to shift the blame to me.. not only that, she divert my attention purely to what i blog, but not telling me about the problems that she face..
25/3/05 was her birthday celebration.. she show me one of her personality.. 2 days ago, she show another one of her personality to me while smsing.. yesterday night another personality of her show up..only thing i know is that im confused..but i decided to make a stand to it..
even without this blog, that person took too long to clear up the matter.. im not going to be a stupid idiot waiting for the next move..
just find out something.. for those who born under aries.. they are courageous leaders. it is rare that they will use their subordinates to obtain their objectives as leaders, but occasionally it does happen. They do not make very good followers because they are too "take charge". They maybe unwilling to obey or submit to direction for which they can see no reason, or with which they disagree. They are self-reliant but also self-centred sometimes, and only concerned with their own advancement. Their social and romantic ambitions certainly seem to be playing a dominant role. However they may have such great hopes that they try to push people into roles that dont suit them. In return, resentment ensures, and then nobody will be satisfied.
whatever decisions that i make, whatever post that i have blog, i know that i cant please everyone.. if everyone have the same mindset, same views, same principles..isnt that a bore?
be it in my previous place of study or in my training ground, i was the only christian.. the scenerio will be very different if i just have someone from the same religion to know what i go through, to pray for me, to comfort me.. i have to make a stand as a christian and not to succumb to peer pressure.. if not i really have to question myself or having doubts crept into my mind..
God gives us trials to test us, that at the end of the day, we can be a perfect, if not near perfect, person.. to be a christian and not to go through sufferings or trials from God, i think that person really have to examine himself.. what is the purpose of coming to this evil, unfair world? to have fun, to seek God, or other purposes which i cant think of? i rather suffer now, and enjoy the benefits later.. God have say this, "i have reserve the best for my children.."
when the going gets tough, i can prove that im a very tough nut to crack.. as long as what i do i think is right.. i dont care what other people say..so long i dont have a guilty conscience.. im here to please God..not to please mankind.. even if the odds are stacked against me, as long as i have the will, i have a way to solve it..
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Hymns
some wonderful hymns will like to share..donno whether you can get to hear the music been play..
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/j/i/jiamrest.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/a/c/acanitbe.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/a/l/altheway.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/j/u/n/junderst.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/m/y/myrdeemr.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/m/y/mysavior.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/s/o/sotpogod.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/l/i/lilyvall.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/t/o/togodbe.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/w/i/willjesu.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/j/i/jiamrest.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/a/c/acanitbe.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/a/l/altheway.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/j/u/n/junderst.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/m/y/myrdeemr.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/m/y/mysavior.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/s/o/sotpogod.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/l/i/lilyvall.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/t/o/togodbe.htm
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/w/i/willjesu.htm
Questions answered
i got the answer what i want.. im not disappointed about it but rather still feeling kind of weird the way she replies back my question..
i ask a question twice, different angle but same meaning.. and in both cases, she replied back different answers..
first qn : "but dont you think that this decision is purely at your discretion..and not based on your family feelings.."
the reply : you very very funny leh.. you are not me, how you know..
not to be deterred, i ask another time..
"come on, you say your family encouraged you to patch back.. and not based on your own.."
last reply : as long as my family is happy and my feelings are still there..
all i can say in conclusion is that, she doesnt know what she want in a relationship.. the decision is purely based on her family and not on her own.. she only see the picture at a certain angle, well..that how stubborn she is..just want her own way..facts are facts, no matter how she change it, it will still be there..and she have given me the benefit of the doubt.. oh, about what i blog in the past, i still stand what i blog.. as long as my conscience doesnt prick me.. wait till the day your mind is able to make a decision firmly on your own, you will know what i actually meant in my blog.. friends, yes, we are and will still be friends.. that all i have to say what i want to say..
i got 5 days of rest.. today rest the whole day, got to think what activities to do for the next few days.. yesterday i cant feel the tremors of the earthquake..i was in the duty office talking to friend on the phone and smsing at the same time..hehe..
i ask a question twice, different angle but same meaning.. and in both cases, she replied back different answers..
first qn : "but dont you think that this decision is purely at your discretion..and not based on your family feelings.."
the reply : you very very funny leh.. you are not me, how you know..
not to be deterred, i ask another time..
"come on, you say your family encouraged you to patch back.. and not based on your own.."
last reply : as long as my family is happy and my feelings are still there..
all i can say in conclusion is that, she doesnt know what she want in a relationship.. the decision is purely based on her family and not on her own.. she only see the picture at a certain angle, well..that how stubborn she is..just want her own way..facts are facts, no matter how she change it, it will still be there..and she have given me the benefit of the doubt.. oh, about what i blog in the past, i still stand what i blog.. as long as my conscience doesnt prick me.. wait till the day your mind is able to make a decision firmly on your own, you will know what i actually meant in my blog.. friends, yes, we are and will still be friends.. that all i have to say what i want to say..
i got 5 days of rest.. today rest the whole day, got to think what activities to do for the next few days.. yesterday i cant feel the tremors of the earthquake..i was in the duty office talking to friend on the phone and smsing at the same time..hehe..
Monday, March 28, 2005
Weird dreams
wah lan eh.. cannot lah... i cant believe what i have dreamt... the timing of getting these dreams doesnt come any weirder..
1) the background was at a beach.. clear blue sky with no sun.. and then someone just hugged me from behind.. i donno who is it.. and heard a voice saying, "dont leave me.." *gulps*
2) another one was in town.. i got a very passionate kiss and i cant stop that person who is doing it.. i cant see or figure it out who is it.. i can see everything but not that person..
to me at this point of time, is a nightmare.. to people who are seeing this, is a dream cant wait to be realise.. i think my mind is too conscious and not sub-conscious to have these dreams.. to remember it after i wake up is even worse.. every dream that i got through, will eventually come.. when? i donno.. but i really hope these dreams is nothing but a dream...
whenever i dream, it will come.. is like when i come across this place or event in reality, my mind will be thinking, "this place look so familiar to me.." i dont want to think so much...
"Been single is a gift from God, able to be with the One that you love is a blessing from above.."
1) the background was at a beach.. clear blue sky with no sun.. and then someone just hugged me from behind.. i donno who is it.. and heard a voice saying, "dont leave me.." *gulps*
2) another one was in town.. i got a very passionate kiss and i cant stop that person who is doing it.. i cant see or figure it out who is it.. i can see everything but not that person..
to me at this point of time, is a nightmare.. to people who are seeing this, is a dream cant wait to be realise.. i think my mind is too conscious and not sub-conscious to have these dreams.. to remember it after i wake up is even worse.. every dream that i got through, will eventually come.. when? i donno.. but i really hope these dreams is nothing but a dream...
whenever i dream, it will come.. is like when i come across this place or event in reality, my mind will be thinking, "this place look so familiar to me.." i dont want to think so much...
"Been single is a gift from God, able to be with the One that you love is a blessing from above.."
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Invaluable advices
my mind is crystal clear.. feeling wise, much better now.. a million thanks to my buddies and friends for their wonderful advices.. and praise to God for hearing my cries and comfort the weary me in His laps..
what she wants to tell me..im still waiting.. but i intend to make the record straight and the line clearer.. i know that i cant do anything.. what i fail from the past, i intend to make it right this time...
when is it that she gonna to tell me? i donno..
what she wants to tell me..im still waiting.. but i intend to make the record straight and the line clearer.. i know that i cant do anything.. what i fail from the past, i intend to make it right this time...
when is it that she gonna to tell me? i donno..
Life in K-9 (6)
wahahah..get to eat snake while on duty.. weekend nothing to do..no one in office.. but very sian.. hehe
to see a full big picture once is enough for me.. to see the second time trying to alter the picture, the novelty isnt there anymore.. i dont want to comment anything.. is time for her to make the very first decision on her way to adulthood.. she no longer wields the power of a pampered princess.. time to let her decide on her own.. if she falls..let her.. in the past, people around her have been supporting her whenever she falls..
for me, we only get to live once.. if i make the wrong decision, i fall but i learn from the experience.. and not to commit it again.. and strive to be a better person at the end of the day..
i only let history goes through once.. and make sure that it will not repeat the same mistakes again and again..
people out there had been telling me not to lent a helping hand if not, they will relied on me too much.. true enough..
as of today, no more blogging just for her sake.. i rather use the blog for what i've been through at the end of the day, my thoughts or whatsoever..
just now went to kennel to see the new dogs.. got one spaniel named beckham..wahaha.. but i feel that this name is been overused.. and a golden retriever named nero..cute..
hai..next month take dog, but donno when.. and after this tour, i got 6 days of rest..hmm..will be planning what to do to keep me occupied..
to see a full big picture once is enough for me.. to see the second time trying to alter the picture, the novelty isnt there anymore.. i dont want to comment anything.. is time for her to make the very first decision on her way to adulthood.. she no longer wields the power of a pampered princess.. time to let her decide on her own.. if she falls..let her.. in the past, people around her have been supporting her whenever she falls..
for me, we only get to live once.. if i make the wrong decision, i fall but i learn from the experience.. and not to commit it again.. and strive to be a better person at the end of the day..
i only let history goes through once.. and make sure that it will not repeat the same mistakes again and again..
people out there had been telling me not to lent a helping hand if not, they will relied on me too much.. true enough..
as of today, no more blogging just for her sake.. i rather use the blog for what i've been through at the end of the day, my thoughts or whatsoever..
just now went to kennel to see the new dogs.. got one spaniel named beckham..wahaha.. but i feel that this name is been overused.. and a golden retriever named nero..cute..
hai..next month take dog, but donno when.. and after this tour, i got 6 days of rest..hmm..will be planning what to do to keep me occupied..
Saturday, March 26, 2005
True love
True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. "The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything that comes along their way." "Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be." Happiness doesn't depend on what u have but what u satisfy & contented with. Try looking at the simple side of life, don't make life around you so complicated. It's how you make others happy rather than how you want others to make you happy.
Battle lost
i have lost the battle once again.. the bulletin wasnt meant for me.. it was for her ex-boyfriend.. naive fool of me..
for once in a sudden, i feel restricted.. i cant express the love for her.. i dont have the freedom to create the feeling in her.. and i feel that i am a substitute for her ex-boyfriend to have this talent of poetry.. the talents in me never show its full potential.. and to think that i force her to like me.. she still doesnt understand me.. and that understanding is too shallow..
i feel betrayed about the way i showered love with care and concern.. love stung me back with its deadly poison.. the feeling is lost and numb.. slow and effective as the poison can be, i breath my very last ounce of air in me.. eyes welled up with tears and watch love fly away.. till then, i died with tinge of regret over the actions that i have done..
no amount of sorry is able to take away the pain i have right now.. sorry is not the word i want to hear right now.. happy to see the state in me right now..
for once in a sudden, i feel restricted.. i cant express the love for her.. i dont have the freedom to create the feeling in her.. and i feel that i am a substitute for her ex-boyfriend to have this talent of poetry.. the talents in me never show its full potential.. and to think that i force her to like me.. she still doesnt understand me.. and that understanding is too shallow..
i feel betrayed about the way i showered love with care and concern.. love stung me back with its deadly poison.. the feeling is lost and numb.. slow and effective as the poison can be, i breath my very last ounce of air in me.. eyes welled up with tears and watch love fly away.. till then, i died with tinge of regret over the actions that i have done..
no amount of sorry is able to take away the pain i have right now.. sorry is not the word i want to hear right now.. happy to see the state in me right now..
Unforseen circumstances
i cancelled the meeting due to unforseen circumstances.. i dont find it a very good idea to meet up where feelings and tempers will flare up for no reason.. i decided to change it to a chat in msn instead..
i already have an idea what she wants to tell me given the vital information provided by her male friend.. the problem is not between us.. but is with her..
the topic could well be, "wanting to patch up with her ex but fear for the repercussion for those who are waiting for her.." rather than a heart to heart talk..
i have this thinking that yesterday meeting could be the first and the last one.. i dont wish to speculate either..
i already have an idea what she wants to tell me given the vital information provided by her male friend.. the problem is not between us.. but is with her..
the topic could well be, "wanting to patch up with her ex but fear for the repercussion for those who are waiting for her.." rather than a heart to heart talk..
i have this thinking that yesterday meeting could be the first and the last one.. i dont wish to speculate either..
time, oh time..
you are a double-edged sword to me..
sometimes is nice to me..
sometimes is unfair to me..
if only you have the mouth to speak..
why, what, where, who, how..
any direction that can provide an answer..
if only..
you are a double-edged sword to me..
sometimes is nice to me..
sometimes is unfair to me..
if only you have the mouth to speak..
why, what, where, who, how..
any direction that can provide an answer..
if only..
Heart to heart talk
i was a half wounded soldier going into this battle prior of the first meeting up with her.. my mind was crying out loud for help last night.. mentally, the battle is full of landmines.. once i step into any one of it, that the end of my opportunity.. feelings were at stake last night..
unexpectedly, i have allies.. a dialect where i used to quarrel with my grandma.. some vital information from her male friends..and a priceless expression from her ex-boyfriend..
she seem to have this plan but have backfired on her.. she seem to have this signal to tell me to forget about her.. and having an underestimation of me in this battle..
1 and 1/2 hr was all the time i needed the allies to help me.. the battle is not won yet.. apr 1st will be the outcome..
a heart to heart talk, clear the air over the misunderstanding..Q&A.. whatever the agenda is, all is in the list..but the purpose of the coming meeting is been defeated even before it commenced..
unexpectedly, i have allies.. a dialect where i used to quarrel with my grandma.. some vital information from her male friends..and a priceless expression from her ex-boyfriend..
she seem to have this plan but have backfired on her.. she seem to have this signal to tell me to forget about her.. and having an underestimation of me in this battle..
1 and 1/2 hr was all the time i needed the allies to help me.. the battle is not won yet.. apr 1st will be the outcome..
a heart to heart talk, clear the air over the misunderstanding..Q&A.. whatever the agenda is, all is in the list..but the purpose of the coming meeting is been defeated even before it commenced..
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Time healer
hmm.. overall i find it very weird how time in a way work in us or against us.. it can go very slowly, sometimes very fast, others may call it perfect timing, or wrong time.. but whatever it is, time have a way to let us learn or know something behind it..
i thought that she knew my blog site all along.. especially the timing when the friendship was in the balance, and the next day, she accept it back again.. but i was wrong..
on the other hand, i was more than willing to let her know my blog site.. maybe in a way, she could also understand me through my thought for the day, the way i handles problems and situations.. i find it a win-win situation for both of us.. since she still doesnt really yet understand me in reality.. hehe..
the day that i confessed to you, you say to me this "whatever the future shall holds, time tells." why dont we let time to decide whether are we the one for each other? i donno how long you want it to be, but i hope the duration is enough for you to heal the emotional wounds, to forget the past and to look for the future and ultimately able to let you know who is the one for you..
i thought that she knew my blog site all along.. especially the timing when the friendship was in the balance, and the next day, she accept it back again.. but i was wrong..
on the other hand, i was more than willing to let her know my blog site.. maybe in a way, she could also understand me through my thought for the day, the way i handles problems and situations.. i find it a win-win situation for both of us.. since she still doesnt really yet understand me in reality.. hehe..
the day that i confessed to you, you say to me this "whatever the future shall holds, time tells." why dont we let time to decide whether are we the one for each other? i donno how long you want it to be, but i hope the duration is enough for you to heal the emotional wounds, to forget the past and to look for the future and ultimately able to let you know who is the one for you..
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
My Observation
my observation seem to rust for a while..hehe.. but i have a rough idea why she seem so stress out for the moment.. the day the relationship was off, i didnt give her any pressure or persuade her to be my gf.. i didnt ask for her decision.. but i admit that i "sweet-talked" her..
1) some people in her workplace have taken a fancy for her, or have even admire her..but can these people accept the way the spotlight is been on her ever since she is in the training ground.. i have one of her ex to prove that he cant accept it.. yup..she is no doubt a lass..a class of her own.. but the way he dont wish to find her talking to other people is just plain childish.. he want the trust from her..but he himself cant find the trust in him.. to me, i already accept what she is and who she is.. i have complete trust in this girl..
2) to her, love is now a taboo subject.. she is in "recovery" mode.. trying to forget the past and looking into the future is tough for her..but i believe she can do it.. and i have these people telling her at this weird timing.. what are these guys thinking.. and to stress her even more makes me realise that im not invulnerable.. come on, give her the space, freedom..whatever..just dont give her stress..
hai.. now cannot talk to her or chat with her online.. most of all, these guys have put a dent to my confidence.. again cannot do anything.. have to wait till this friday where i will be meeting her for her birthday celebration.. most important will be on the april's fool where she will tell me everything..
the amazing race series show have been the only reality show that my eyes will glued to the goggle box.. how a team of two people navigate their way around the world to earn 1 million dollars.. how the team face a problem to solve it against the run of time.. how the team get to know each other weakness and strength through the race.. this season, rob and amber have caught everyone's eyes.. especially the way how they exploit the loopholes of the rules to the game.. damn.. and they are from "survivor" all stars.. amber been the overall winner and rob the runner-up..
but i hate the "survivor" reality show.. full of back stabbing, politics and alliance.. this show is definitely not my type..
hai..feeling very sian.. dont wish to blog.. i know she have my blog add.. and she will definitely read it..
1) some people in her workplace have taken a fancy for her, or have even admire her..but can these people accept the way the spotlight is been on her ever since she is in the training ground.. i have one of her ex to prove that he cant accept it.. yup..she is no doubt a lass..a class of her own.. but the way he dont wish to find her talking to other people is just plain childish.. he want the trust from her..but he himself cant find the trust in him.. to me, i already accept what she is and who she is.. i have complete trust in this girl..
2) to her, love is now a taboo subject.. she is in "recovery" mode.. trying to forget the past and looking into the future is tough for her..but i believe she can do it.. and i have these people telling her at this weird timing.. what are these guys thinking.. and to stress her even more makes me realise that im not invulnerable.. come on, give her the space, freedom..whatever..just dont give her stress..
hai.. now cannot talk to her or chat with her online.. most of all, these guys have put a dent to my confidence.. again cannot do anything.. have to wait till this friday where i will be meeting her for her birthday celebration.. most important will be on the april's fool where she will tell me everything..
the amazing race series show have been the only reality show that my eyes will glued to the goggle box.. how a team of two people navigate their way around the world to earn 1 million dollars.. how the team face a problem to solve it against the run of time.. how the team get to know each other weakness and strength through the race.. this season, rob and amber have caught everyone's eyes.. especially the way how they exploit the loopholes of the rules to the game.. damn.. and they are from "survivor" all stars.. amber been the overall winner and rob the runner-up..
but i hate the "survivor" reality show.. full of back stabbing, politics and alliance.. this show is definitely not my type..
hai..feeling very sian.. dont wish to blog.. i know she have my blog add.. and she will definitely read it..
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
The past
while it is bad to hear from someone that you like not to go for her..but i find it a good sign that she is willing to open up to me.. on the surface, she might be the happy-go-lucky gal.. but inside, her heart is hurt.. only time can heal the wound..
a past that is tainted with hurt and emotional scars that left behind, is never easy for her. Past have been hunting her yet she is looking for the future to take her away.. first phone call to me and telling me about her past relationship make me realise that she is indeed not a simple girl..how right was i... but i determined to be the one who can heal the wound, the future to look for and the guy who can accept her past..
she once told me, "i have a guy that go for 3 yrs, another one 1yr, another 1 yr..followed by the basketballer then the malay.." now, given your common sense, which guy have hurt her the most? logical thinking will go for the guy of 3 yrs.. a guy that have given her everything, promise her everything have been dashed the moment the relationship ends.. as expected, a girl will definitely expecting the next guy to be the same as the guy of 3 yrs.. but none fits the bill.. this expectation is the past which she cannot let go..
this is a very delicate matter to me and to her.. but i will take it up a challenge to confront her past, to build her confidence where she is once was.. im handed to a task that failure is not in it.. one step at a time.. time will know.. ultimately, dont rush her to commit that decision.. slow and steady wins the race.. no way am i going to give up this time.. im determined to see it through..
a past that is tainted with hurt and emotional scars that left behind, is never easy for her. Past have been hunting her yet she is looking for the future to take her away.. first phone call to me and telling me about her past relationship make me realise that she is indeed not a simple girl..how right was i... but i determined to be the one who can heal the wound, the future to look for and the guy who can accept her past..
she once told me, "i have a guy that go for 3 yrs, another one 1yr, another 1 yr..followed by the basketballer then the malay.." now, given your common sense, which guy have hurt her the most? logical thinking will go for the guy of 3 yrs.. a guy that have given her everything, promise her everything have been dashed the moment the relationship ends.. as expected, a girl will definitely expecting the next guy to be the same as the guy of 3 yrs.. but none fits the bill.. this expectation is the past which she cannot let go..
this is a very delicate matter to me and to her.. but i will take it up a challenge to confront her past, to build her confidence where she is once was.. im handed to a task that failure is not in it.. one step at a time.. time will know.. ultimately, dont rush her to commit that decision.. slow and steady wins the race.. no way am i going to give up this time.. im determined to see it through..
Randomness (15)
hey, im asking for something that is closer to base..not somewhere near base.. again another COR.. the timing of getting that msg doesnt come any weirder.. we use the matra set and tune to other division channel since we started the duty.. J division to be precise.. every msg that comes through the matra set, we just listen to it and laugh it off the way the text of msg is send through.. at about 4 in the morning.. everyone was taking a rest..so i take the matra set and tune to the lowest volume.. my ears just pick up a voice that say, "pls activitate k-9......" i wish i didnt hear that.. i donno why.. i was reading previous day newspaper and listening to FM 98.7 music.. but that voice make the matra set volume seem to be the loudest..
text of msg: "foreign worker's permit is stolen, suspect to be an II, run towards the forested area at Choa Chu Kang rd, near Jalan Lekar" what a day to end the duty like this..
i think i sleep too much that triggers the headache.. and she make full use of it to msg me back not to go for her.. kao.. she must have a bad day in work that cause her to msg like that..
does everyone really goes through what i've been through? i dont think so.. she vent her anger on me, breaking up friendship.. did anyone from her side experience that.. pls msg me to prove me wrong.. as far as i know, i didnt complain one bit to her..didnt change her.. willing to suffer for her..willing to wait.. willing to incur her wrath again just for the sake to be with her and to understand her..
i didnt ask for her decision..lol.. but the day after her birthday, i have to outwit her thinking and to convince her and to assure her.. whatever it takes.. and also hopefully..that will not be the second and the last time i get to see her..
text of msg: "foreign worker's permit is stolen, suspect to be an II, run towards the forested area at Choa Chu Kang rd, near Jalan Lekar" what a day to end the duty like this..
i think i sleep too much that triggers the headache.. and she make full use of it to msg me back not to go for her.. kao.. she must have a bad day in work that cause her to msg like that..
does everyone really goes through what i've been through? i dont think so.. she vent her anger on me, breaking up friendship.. did anyone from her side experience that.. pls msg me to prove me wrong.. as far as i know, i didnt complain one bit to her..didnt change her.. willing to suffer for her..willing to wait.. willing to incur her wrath again just for the sake to be with her and to understand her..
i didnt ask for her decision..lol.. but the day after her birthday, i have to outwit her thinking and to convince her and to assure her.. whatever it takes.. and also hopefully..that will not be the second and the last time i get to see her..
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Randomness (14)
im not asking for an activation call from COR.. argh.. is this something special that i ask for to make my day better.. no.. maybe something closer to base.. like an intrusion or IED exercise.. i have yet to experience that in my 3 months there..
man, she could just tell me where's the place for her birthday celebration.. donno how to describle, tell me more about it when the time is nearer.. what sia.. now i know the place..hehe.. but still donno which floor.. lol.. major details are been ironed out.. but minor details seem to be missing.. hmm..
man, she could just tell me where's the place for her birthday celebration.. donno how to describle, tell me more about it when the time is nearer.. what sia.. now i know the place..hehe.. but still donno which floor.. lol.. major details are been ironed out.. but minor details seem to be missing.. hmm..
Friday, March 18, 2005
Randomness (13)
went out today and see Robots.. overall feel refresh at the end of the day.. i dare to say that she have inject some ideas in me as to how to make use of the time..
i msg her today whether i could meet her next wed.. but she couldnt make it.. so she suggest meeting either on her birthday celebration or after her birthday.. i take both..hehe.. what to do..have to be thick skinned what..
she say that if i come for her birthday celebration, im might feel awkward as i donno anyone.. but i assure her that she is the one that i know..also can take the opportunity to know her parents and friends..
earlier on, she mentioned to me that she is not ready for it at this moment of time.. guess i have to slowly build her confidence up and be there with her..
i msg her today whether i could meet her next wed.. but she couldnt make it.. so she suggest meeting either on her birthday celebration or after her birthday.. i take both..hehe.. what to do..have to be thick skinned what..
she say that if i come for her birthday celebration, im might feel awkward as i donno anyone.. but i assure her that she is the one that i know..also can take the opportunity to know her parents and friends..
earlier on, she mentioned to me that she is not ready for it at this moment of time.. guess i have to slowly build her confidence up and be there with her..
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Life in K-9 (5)
i have this tiredness in me which i cant describe.. it not mentally or physically.. is the work that i been doing since coming to k-9.. work 2 days off 2 days that in a way, my body have adapt to the timing.. the work for me is definitely not my cup of tea..even when my team leader ask me about signing on, i give him an answer straight away without hesitating..
is there a challenge in guard duty?
is there anything to do besides sitting in the duty office, eat when your stomach ask for food, rest when needed or read newspaper just to pass time?
to me, both answers is no.. a definite no no.. i know myself more than anyone else.. i know what i want..i need challenges that able to inject this dull lifestyle im coping right now.. some kind of surprises along the tour of duty, or something out of the blue happen..
i have yet to take a leave.. i might take one in order to get away this lifestyle for a moment.. i told her about it, and she suggest writing letters, poetry.. my mind at this moment is not working.. maybe i need a recharge to make my mind works again..
as for that DO of mine..im too numb and tired to say anything.. if you want to show me atittude to me..i will do the same back to you.. everyone in the team is trying to throw a brickbat at you.. the way you have portrayed yourself in the team is not going to work.. maybe just for your own race..right..
is been a long time since we last met in our training ground..she have passed out earlier to undergo training at brani.. as such, i feel that her absence had make my heart grow fonder of her.. i intend to ask her out this weekend.. hopefully she will agree to it.. =)
is there a challenge in guard duty?
is there anything to do besides sitting in the duty office, eat when your stomach ask for food, rest when needed or read newspaper just to pass time?
to me, both answers is no.. a definite no no.. i know myself more than anyone else.. i know what i want..i need challenges that able to inject this dull lifestyle im coping right now.. some kind of surprises along the tour of duty, or something out of the blue happen..
i have yet to take a leave.. i might take one in order to get away this lifestyle for a moment.. i told her about it, and she suggest writing letters, poetry.. my mind at this moment is not working.. maybe i need a recharge to make my mind works again..
as for that DO of mine..im too numb and tired to say anything.. if you want to show me atittude to me..i will do the same back to you.. everyone in the team is trying to throw a brickbat at you.. the way you have portrayed yourself in the team is not going to work.. maybe just for your own race..right..
is been a long time since we last met in our training ground..she have passed out earlier to undergo training at brani.. as such, i feel that her absence had make my heart grow fonder of her.. i intend to ask her out this weekend.. hopefully she will agree to it.. =)
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Life in K-9 (4)
haha.. the new intake is here.. tomorrow 2 of them will be joining our team for the tour of duty.. today teach them about the SOP of the duty office, sentry hut and bring them around the base.. esp the prowling points.. hehe..
oh.. good news never come at such a good time.. i was told that i will be taking dog in april.. and will be taking narcotic detector dog..haha..and could even go to the roving team..as the team needs people..
i feel that God is definitely in control of my life.. knowing what i want and also able to meet my spiritual needs.. if i were to posted out to Woodlands checkpoint or Airport sub base, i have to do shift works which sundays are been burnt for nothing.. but as for roving team, i only get to work 5 days a week.. no need to come back during weekends to work..
as for her.. hmm.. the signs look promising..hehe.. talk to her online for 3 hrs..lol.. the topics seem endless.. play games, send mp3 songs and also discussion about her big day.. =D
send her two very unique sms to her this morning and last night.. only she is able to understand the meaning.. =)
oh.. good news never come at such a good time.. i was told that i will be taking dog in april.. and will be taking narcotic detector dog..haha..and could even go to the roving team..as the team needs people..
i feel that God is definitely in control of my life.. knowing what i want and also able to meet my spiritual needs.. if i were to posted out to Woodlands checkpoint or Airport sub base, i have to do shift works which sundays are been burnt for nothing.. but as for roving team, i only get to work 5 days a week.. no need to come back during weekends to work..
as for her.. hmm.. the signs look promising..hehe.. talk to her online for 3 hrs..lol.. the topics seem endless.. play games, send mp3 songs and also discussion about her big day.. =D
send her two very unique sms to her this morning and last night.. only she is able to understand the meaning.. =)
Monday, March 14, 2005
Life in K-9 (3)
argh..friendster is getting suckier and suckier.. cant even see the latest testimonials..or the pics.. worst of all, very lag..
one of my colleague ask me to take care of his dog when he takes leave for holiday at shanghai.. his dog is a bitch who is on heat.. her name is kim.. everytime i went to the kennel to take her out for a walk during my tour of duty, she will bark and demands to go out before i took the leash.. the actual problem comes when she is out of the kennel.. i never leash her, she doesnt want to run.. i leash her only, she wants to run.. the handler is back from the holiday and i told him about it.. guess what he say? "good dog are like that one mah.." i got no comments to shoot him back.. never mind..he is back to lecture the dog..hehe..
my DO is getting more and more attitude problems.. ya ya only.. think HQ is his place and can anyhow order people.. stop abusing your authority.. just because you are a regular and holding a corporal rank doesnt mean that you run the show.. without us, you can survive in HQ for so long meh.. dont wish to learn about the operation of the duty office, say lah.. got difficulty only, call us.. still say, "i know i know.." only know how to get along with the people with the same colour.. racist.. and i feel that he is deteriorating the spirit of Bravo.. kns.. i just keep quiet only..i dont wish to blow up the matter.. just quickly get a dog and leave the team.. without you, Bravo wont be in this state..
ho ho..monday, new intake will be coming in lor.. haha.. i heard 8 will be coming in.. 5 will be kennel hands and 3 will do base guard.. taking over us huh..haha.. yup.. i told my officer that i will take a dog..only narcotic detector dogs only.. and he ask me to tell my Team Leader to send an email to him..lol.. hopefully we could get the narcotic detector dog course asap.. but at the meantime.. there is no news..so i guess i have to wait..
one of my colleague ask me to take care of his dog when he takes leave for holiday at shanghai.. his dog is a bitch who is on heat.. her name is kim.. everytime i went to the kennel to take her out for a walk during my tour of duty, she will bark and demands to go out before i took the leash.. the actual problem comes when she is out of the kennel.. i never leash her, she doesnt want to run.. i leash her only, she wants to run.. the handler is back from the holiday and i told him about it.. guess what he say? "good dog are like that one mah.." i got no comments to shoot him back.. never mind..he is back to lecture the dog..hehe..
my DO is getting more and more attitude problems.. ya ya only.. think HQ is his place and can anyhow order people.. stop abusing your authority.. just because you are a regular and holding a corporal rank doesnt mean that you run the show.. without us, you can survive in HQ for so long meh.. dont wish to learn about the operation of the duty office, say lah.. got difficulty only, call us.. still say, "i know i know.." only know how to get along with the people with the same colour.. racist.. and i feel that he is deteriorating the spirit of Bravo.. kns.. i just keep quiet only..i dont wish to blow up the matter.. just quickly get a dog and leave the team.. without you, Bravo wont be in this state..
ho ho..monday, new intake will be coming in lor.. haha.. i heard 8 will be coming in.. 5 will be kennel hands and 3 will do base guard.. taking over us huh..haha.. yup.. i told my officer that i will take a dog..only narcotic detector dogs only.. and he ask me to tell my Team Leader to send an email to him..lol.. hopefully we could get the narcotic detector dog course asap.. but at the meantime.. there is no news..so i guess i have to wait..
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Surprised phone call
YES!!! she is back!! the one that i knew in my training ground.. the one that surprised me with a call.. the one that took the initaitive.. the one whose plan is still intact.. though i know that she likes me through the girls that i talked to.. i have to act "ignorant" now..=P
Friday, March 11, 2005
Door closed
she have shut herself up literally despite offering my help.. be it in msn, friendster, sms or phone..she just doesnt want to pick up or reply back.. she is confused, i know that.. but that is definitely not the way to do it.. she is just that stubborn, she just want it her own way.. i cant do anything either.. just have to sit down and wait till she have the answer that both of us been waiting for...
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Things are still the same
"she have this plan which is flawless and safe. nothing could ever find fault in it. this plan is too perfect. From the first phone call, to a testimonial and even the confession which i make, the plan have it all.. she deliberately keep asking me, "what is it?" when she know what im going to do next in the confession.. i was the one who make the wrong move esp the "misunderstanding".. i lost the war and the battle..and even her..but her plan still works in her way, her perfect way."
im now really taking one step at a time.. that is to wait for her.. i still like her.. the above about what i say is sincerely from my heart.. i have this belief that she and i can really go through thick and thin together.. i dont wish to talk about the one in my life.. as not to raise my expectation too high that she cant meet or to put pressure on her..
im now really taking one step at a time.. that is to wait for her.. i still like her.. the above about what i say is sincerely from my heart.. i have this belief that she and i can really go through thick and thin together.. i dont wish to talk about the one in my life.. as not to raise my expectation too high that she cant meet or to put pressure on her..
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Special Priority First
lol..now i know what is SPF stands for.. not Singapore Pig Farm.. is Special Priority First.. why? regulars are given the priority to get the dogs..and only narcotic detector dogs.. not security dogs.. they can just ask to transfer to k-9 anytime they like..kao.. i mean, i dont mind girls getting narcotic detector dogs..but guys who sign on? they should be given general purpose guard dogs.. man..i hate those regulars who is in k-9.. males regulars especially.. they just took everything that we, the only 3 left in the intake not to take dogs, have to suffered.
i feel that im fighting for a lost cause in this situation.. is it fair? of course not.. if in the first place we get to choose what we want in the first place, why cant we get what we want now? force us to take something that we dont want, like in this case, taking security dogs..hell no man..
if my officer agree to what i say that i want to take dogs but only narcotic detector dogs, and also citied that the priority given to 116th intake and dont care about the previous, then he better make sure he should do what he have say..
i know that to some, im kinda selfish..but try stepping into my shoes, either you will keep quiet or make a fuss out of it.. if i deem it to be very fair, i will have shut my mouth off and continue my duty for the rest of my NS days without complain. yup, this is the reality..this is the working world.. hai.. im not complaining..but a request to make my NS a more memorable one..
i feel that im fighting for a lost cause in this situation.. is it fair? of course not.. if in the first place we get to choose what we want in the first place, why cant we get what we want now? force us to take something that we dont want, like in this case, taking security dogs..hell no man..
if my officer agree to what i say that i want to take dogs but only narcotic detector dogs, and also citied that the priority given to 116th intake and dont care about the previous, then he better make sure he should do what he have say..
i know that to some, im kinda selfish..but try stepping into my shoes, either you will keep quiet or make a fuss out of it.. if i deem it to be very fair, i will have shut my mouth off and continue my duty for the rest of my NS days without complain. yup, this is the reality..this is the working world.. hai.. im not complaining..but a request to make my NS a more memorable one..
Monday, March 07, 2005
NS dilemma
argh.. im facing an even worse problem now.. im in a dilemma.. sigh.. today had a meeting with my officer regarding about taking dogs because the 117th intake is coming in anytime this week..
i ask my officer, "if i agree to take dogs, what dogs will i get to take?"
and the reply was, "i dont know.." kao..now i know why so many people hate to hear this answer..and he gives us till wednesday to give him the answer..
if i say yes, i will get security dogs..which i dont like..i dont want to go to prisons just to walk around the perimeter with my dog..
if i say no, i will be stuck in base guard.. no life..and is letting my life to rot for nothing for 1 1/2 yrs..
if i say yes but i want to be on the waiting list for narcotic detector dogs..wonder what will my officer reaction be?
before he go back home after office hrs, he ask me again, "how is it?"
"i donno, sir..but the probability of getting security dogs is higher than narcotic detector dogs.."
"where you live? do you have any idea that base guard is the most glamourous duty in k-9?"
"around balestier area..huh..i cannot sit down and do nothing..im a restless person.."
"you want narcotic detector dogs, right? i give you"
"haha..sir, your assurance not very convincing leh.."
and what he did next prove me right..he give me an evil smile..
come on, give me something that makes my national service an enjoyable one.. 5 months of regimental training and 3 months of base guard duty doesnt make my life colourful..to me, is very dull and all around it is black and white to me..just give in this request for me..
worse come to worse, i might opt for driver pool.. doesnt seem to have a destiny with dogs..dont ask me to sign on.. government have let me down very terribly.. sign on only prolongs your suffering..so what we earn 4-5 times of what a normal ns man's allowance get yet cant get the satisafaction that you and i wanted to have..
hai..no mood to talk.. after i know my verdict on wednesday, then i decide what to do next.. government give us 2 yrs of allowance to do nothing.. i dont think is enough lor.. i mean, why dont you provide for us when we intend to use that time to study..sigh..i think im an anti-government liao..
i ask my officer, "if i agree to take dogs, what dogs will i get to take?"
and the reply was, "i dont know.." kao..now i know why so many people hate to hear this answer..and he gives us till wednesday to give him the answer..
if i say yes, i will get security dogs..which i dont like..i dont want to go to prisons just to walk around the perimeter with my dog..
if i say no, i will be stuck in base guard.. no life..and is letting my life to rot for nothing for 1 1/2 yrs..
if i say yes but i want to be on the waiting list for narcotic detector dogs..wonder what will my officer reaction be?
before he go back home after office hrs, he ask me again, "how is it?"
"i donno, sir..but the probability of getting security dogs is higher than narcotic detector dogs.."
"where you live? do you have any idea that base guard is the most glamourous duty in k-9?"
"around balestier area..huh..i cannot sit down and do nothing..im a restless person.."
"you want narcotic detector dogs, right? i give you"
"haha..sir, your assurance not very convincing leh.."
and what he did next prove me right..he give me an evil smile..
come on, give me something that makes my national service an enjoyable one.. 5 months of regimental training and 3 months of base guard duty doesnt make my life colourful..to me, is very dull and all around it is black and white to me..just give in this request for me..
worse come to worse, i might opt for driver pool.. doesnt seem to have a destiny with dogs..dont ask me to sign on.. government have let me down very terribly.. sign on only prolongs your suffering..so what we earn 4-5 times of what a normal ns man's allowance get yet cant get the satisafaction that you and i wanted to have..
hai..no mood to talk.. after i know my verdict on wednesday, then i decide what to do next.. government give us 2 yrs of allowance to do nothing.. i dont think is enough lor.. i mean, why dont you provide for us when we intend to use that time to study..sigh..i think im an anti-government liao..
Sunday, March 06, 2005
The one
uhm..someone has ask me to take over and do all the initiative.. cool.. thanks..but at this moment, i still have some personal matters to attend before i could really committed myself to it.. i dont wish to carry this burden with me if i enter this new phrase of life.. pls give me some time to settle these problems and also in a way, able to give yourself a much needed break..
about the one in my life, i dont want to say anything. im just quietly confident enough. all i can only say is that she is very different from the ones that i have 'chased' or girls that i know.
about the one in my life, i dont want to say anything. im just quietly confident enough. all i can only say is that she is very different from the ones that i have 'chased' or girls that i know.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Over before it started
oh well, guess it all over.. someone dont want to say..i also cannot do anything.. but have to find out myself.. sigh.. btw, is not that she donno what i blog..is that i have guess it all correctly that she is too shy to say it.. right?
this note is specially for her....
"before we meet, she already took my heart and wrote her name in it. 3 months of wonderful memories painted the picture so well that people just stared and admired. after that, we went through an emotional roller-coaster ride where our faith in each other is put to the test. She held my hand throughout the whole ride without realising it. When the ride was at the highest point, i too held her hand and never let go. But she wanted to let go to feel the exhilaration of the ride..throughout the ride, our faith strengthened, bringing us to a new level of understanding where no one dares to venture, everything just fall into place so prefectly that it has form a complete picture for me and her to see..
Though she has written her name on my heart, she didnt intend to break it either..she has wrap it with all her care and concern that my heart is too hard to break..She has been with me throughout since the day we know each other..she was with me mentally and spiritually.. giving me encouragement during my training theory exams..while i give her my blessings for her final driving test.. the bond is there..the chemistry is definitely still there..even the spark..
the ride has ended..but we are mentally tired from it..i will still continue to help her and be with her as long as my determination and preservance is there to see..and not extinguished at the last min.."
this note is specially for her....
"before we meet, she already took my heart and wrote her name in it. 3 months of wonderful memories painted the picture so well that people just stared and admired. after that, we went through an emotional roller-coaster ride where our faith in each other is put to the test. She held my hand throughout the whole ride without realising it. When the ride was at the highest point, i too held her hand and never let go. But she wanted to let go to feel the exhilaration of the ride..throughout the ride, our faith strengthened, bringing us to a new level of understanding where no one dares to venture, everything just fall into place so prefectly that it has form a complete picture for me and her to see..
Though she has written her name on my heart, she didnt intend to break it either..she has wrap it with all her care and concern that my heart is too hard to break..She has been with me throughout since the day we know each other..she was with me mentally and spiritually.. giving me encouragement during my training theory exams..while i give her my blessings for her final driving test.. the bond is there..the chemistry is definitely still there..even the spark..
the ride has ended..but we are mentally tired from it..i will still continue to help her and be with her as long as my determination and preservance is there to see..and not extinguished at the last min.."
Thursday, March 03, 2005
In the dark
can someone pls tell me what is going on now?? i seem to be in the dark.. does my blog really that hard to understand or confusing to you.. look, whatever problems you have, dont keep it in your heart..share with me.. people who know me will know that i give a very fair opinion irregardless whether im direct or indirect to the problem..
man, if she only have a blog and able to let me know about it, i wont mind keep it for her and able to read and understand what she is going through now..
the last msg she sent was on 17/2/05.. and after that, nothing is heard from her despite smsing her and calling her.. the silence is just too deafening that i msg her today.. and at last i get a reply..
i really wish to hear from her soon and that i able to help her solve the problem and that she will be happy again..
man, if she only have a blog and able to let me know about it, i wont mind keep it for her and able to read and understand what she is going through now..
the last msg she sent was on 17/2/05.. and after that, nothing is heard from her despite smsing her and calling her.. the silence is just too deafening that i msg her today.. and at last i get a reply..
i really wish to hear from her soon and that i able to help her solve the problem and that she will be happy again..
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Randomness (12)
hai..today wanted to have a swim but rain prevent me from going out and keep me in bed till afternoon..the weather is just too cooling to move around the house..
yesterday my friend ask me to meet at simei..i was like, "of all places?!?!" but then i still go lor, hai..on the way there, can see so many PCG..one guy still wear in his half-U.. pls lah, tuck out for goodness' sake..i dont wish to see someone beaten up for nothing..
the list seem to growing everytime i speak out to different girls about the problem i had.. now it's 4..
1) Shu Juan - ITE classmate
2) Min Ci - IRC pal for donno how long, still haven meet..hehe..
3) Esther Li - ITE schoolmate, buddy's wife..hehe
4) Wen Qing - Another buddy's friend..
all walks of life but same in answer.. can any girl out there able to provide a different answer when i say out..
erm..someone told me that i can understand girls.. lol, ever since im in secondary school, i interact with girls more than guys lor.. i think all the girls are the same.. hai.. this is what i find out:
rule of thumb: whenever they are sad or angry, never ever take their words seriously.. they doesnt mean what they say..
2nd rule: just offer them what they want when they are angry or sad.. make them happy will do the trick..
oh yah..someone is playing hard to get huh.. hai, whatever lah.. i dont see myself out of the race so fast for the time being..
yesterday my friend ask me to meet at simei..i was like, "of all places?!?!" but then i still go lor, hai..on the way there, can see so many PCG..one guy still wear in his half-U.. pls lah, tuck out for goodness' sake..i dont wish to see someone beaten up for nothing..
the list seem to growing everytime i speak out to different girls about the problem i had.. now it's 4..
1) Shu Juan - ITE classmate
2) Min Ci - IRC pal for donno how long, still haven meet..hehe..
3) Esther Li - ITE schoolmate, buddy's wife..hehe
4) Wen Qing - Another buddy's friend..
all walks of life but same in answer.. can any girl out there able to provide a different answer when i say out..
erm..someone told me that i can understand girls.. lol, ever since im in secondary school, i interact with girls more than guys lor.. i think all the girls are the same.. hai.. this is what i find out:
rule of thumb: whenever they are sad or angry, never ever take their words seriously.. they doesnt mean what they say..
2nd rule: just offer them what they want when they are angry or sad.. make them happy will do the trick..
oh yah..someone is playing hard to get huh.. hai, whatever lah.. i dont see myself out of the race so fast for the time being..
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Questions for her
do you know what is your expectations or needs in a relationship? does the guy in the relationship able to meet your needs? are you going in a relationship just for the sake of going or just follow your heart or in a way the guy able to meet your needs? dont go for the sake if you follow your heart.. you should also consider what you really want and need in the relationship.. if not, no matter how many relationships you have go through, it will not last long.. if the guy could meet all your needs, your expectation, what you really want.. then he is the one for you..
i have provide a way out for you.. you should know what to do.. i know you are confuse right now.. either lose one or lose both.. i know that my chances is not here yet.. im still not stable yet for a relationship.. i feel the time is ripe to say what i want.. wait is one thing, but able to meet your needs is another.. no matter what position im in now, be it as a friend, brother in christ or a rival in love to you, my only advice is there for you to see..
you should know what is your answer to it.. by then i will also know my fate..
i have provide a way out for you.. you should know what to do.. i know you are confuse right now.. either lose one or lose both.. i know that my chances is not here yet.. im still not stable yet for a relationship.. i feel the time is ripe to say what i want.. wait is one thing, but able to meet your needs is another.. no matter what position im in now, be it as a friend, brother in christ or a rival in love to you, my only advice is there for you to see..
you should know what is your answer to it.. by then i will also know my fate..
Love her with all your heart..
Interesting email i have come across :
Love the girl in your heart, not in your mind. If you
base your relationship on feelings, it will fail for
there are ups & downs in feelings. Girls are there
to be loved, not toyed around.(needless to say anything)
Love her for who she is. Don't even think about
changing any bit about her. 6 billion people in this
world & 6 billion different personalities. She's
special & she will stay that way. You change any
part of her, you'll change her forever. Don't
substitute her for anyone else, they are just unique
in their own ways.(i never change her even though she wants to be bad tempered, stubborn or even having a split personality)
Love whole-heartedly. She sacrificed a lot for you
so you'd better really treasure her. She could
have just got up & date a so much more dashing
guy in town but she chose you instead all because
of love. So love her guys, not play with her.(offer my heart to her also can..)
Don't just get the girl to beg you to stay or
whatsoever. If you're with her, love her. Don't cause
a strain in the relationship, you'll end up loving
each other out of pity or charity, that's not
respecting love at all. Respect love the way it is &
everything will be the best it can be.(i respect love and respect her..)
Don't expect perfection from her. She's the only
one in the world & she's done the best she could.(i know she is not perfect that why i still loves her..)
Like another girl while you're in a relationship?
Then I think it's time you remain single for a while.
Don't go around breaking girls' hearts, it's the most
tragic thing to do.(haha..find it extremely hard to do that, my heart can only take up one person..)
Tell the truth, never hide anything from her. If you
want her to tell you everything, do the same. Don't
go calling other girls "honey" or "darling", how
would it feel if your girl calls other guys the same
way? Be faithful, enough is enough.(tell the truth, nothing but the whole truth..)
Socialise only when you're single. You socialise &
flirt around is to get the girl of your dreams. Get it
over when she's already yours, don't ask for more.(socialise..haha..when i become desperate)
It never kills to be romantic. Think, be flexible.
Getting that diamond ring isn't the only gift for her.
Be realistic, she's human & she lives life just like
you. Something sweet & simple always get the job
done. Money doesn't exist between couples, it's
the love.(using money to buy love..forget it..sincere is the way to go..)
Never promise her that you'll love her forever
because your forever might end the next day. Love
her as if each day is the last.(i didnt.. i want to experience the love with her..)
Sweet talks only apply for singles, not for attached
guys. Do that & you'll really break your girl's heart.
Isn't good being too well-known too, it'll give her a
sense of insecurity. Remember, INSECURITY.(haha..i dont sweet talk..just be yourself and be sincere..)
Promise her & make sure you never break it.
Swear to her & make sure you keep it. Pledge
your love to her & her alone.(did that..)
Loving her is giving her your heart to break it but
trusting her not to. Instead, she'll cherish it &
protect it. That's love. Give her your heart, your
life, your everything.(i offered her..)
Lay down your life & prepare to die for her when
the need arises. But stay strong & live through
another day, she can never live without you.(my actions speak louder than words..)
Never, ever walk out of her life. She won't just cry
her heart out & carry on living as per normal, she'd
die. It her heart that you've broken, how would you
ever know how she feels? (i will never leave her..)
Winning a girl's heart isn't the final victory. Don't
leave her once you've won her love. Love her all the
way till the end of time, love her till marriage, love
her till old age, love her till death. If you can love
her till the end of time, you've earned the honor &
respect for you've truly loved her.(yeah..that the way man..)
She chose you because she believes that you can
fulfil your promise. Win her heart & love her over.
Remember, the girl isn't a trophy for display, she's
someone to love, not to show off to your "friends".
Stay humble yet proud that she's the one for you.
Respect her for the way she is, never despise her
& never mistreat her, never even think of toying
with her...(i wont do that in the first place..)
Love the girl in your heart, not in your mind. If you
base your relationship on feelings, it will fail for
there are ups & downs in feelings. Girls are there
to be loved, not toyed around.(needless to say anything)
Love her for who she is. Don't even think about
changing any bit about her. 6 billion people in this
world & 6 billion different personalities. She's
special & she will stay that way. You change any
part of her, you'll change her forever. Don't
substitute her for anyone else, they are just unique
in their own ways.(i never change her even though she wants to be bad tempered, stubborn or even having a split personality)
Love whole-heartedly. She sacrificed a lot for you
so you'd better really treasure her. She could
have just got up & date a so much more dashing
guy in town but she chose you instead all because
of love. So love her guys, not play with her.(offer my heart to her also can..)
Don't just get the girl to beg you to stay or
whatsoever. If you're with her, love her. Don't cause
a strain in the relationship, you'll end up loving
each other out of pity or charity, that's not
respecting love at all. Respect love the way it is &
everything will be the best it can be.(i respect love and respect her..)
Don't expect perfection from her. She's the only
one in the world & she's done the best she could.(i know she is not perfect that why i still loves her..)
Like another girl while you're in a relationship?
Then I think it's time you remain single for a while.
Don't go around breaking girls' hearts, it's the most
tragic thing to do.(haha..find it extremely hard to do that, my heart can only take up one person..)
Tell the truth, never hide anything from her. If you
want her to tell you everything, do the same. Don't
go calling other girls "honey" or "darling", how
would it feel if your girl calls other guys the same
way? Be faithful, enough is enough.(tell the truth, nothing but the whole truth..)
Socialise only when you're single. You socialise &
flirt around is to get the girl of your dreams. Get it
over when she's already yours, don't ask for more.(socialise..haha..when i become desperate)
It never kills to be romantic. Think, be flexible.
Getting that diamond ring isn't the only gift for her.
Be realistic, she's human & she lives life just like
you. Something sweet & simple always get the job
done. Money doesn't exist between couples, it's
the love.(using money to buy love..forget it..sincere is the way to go..)
Never promise her that you'll love her forever
because your forever might end the next day. Love
her as if each day is the last.(i didnt.. i want to experience the love with her..)
Sweet talks only apply for singles, not for attached
guys. Do that & you'll really break your girl's heart.
Isn't good being too well-known too, it'll give her a
sense of insecurity. Remember, INSECURITY.(haha..i dont sweet talk..just be yourself and be sincere..)
Promise her & make sure you never break it.
Swear to her & make sure you keep it. Pledge
your love to her & her alone.(did that..)
Loving her is giving her your heart to break it but
trusting her not to. Instead, she'll cherish it &
protect it. That's love. Give her your heart, your
life, your everything.(i offered her..)
Lay down your life & prepare to die for her when
the need arises. But stay strong & live through
another day, she can never live without you.(my actions speak louder than words..)
Never, ever walk out of her life. She won't just cry
her heart out & carry on living as per normal, she'd
die. It her heart that you've broken, how would you
ever know how she feels? (i will never leave her..)
Winning a girl's heart isn't the final victory. Don't
leave her once you've won her love. Love her all the
way till the end of time, love her till marriage, love
her till old age, love her till death. If you can love
her till the end of time, you've earned the honor &
respect for you've truly loved her.(yeah..that the way man..)
She chose you because she believes that you can
fulfil your promise. Win her heart & love her over.
Remember, the girl isn't a trophy for display, she's
someone to love, not to show off to your "friends".
Stay humble yet proud that she's the one for you.
Respect her for the way she is, never despise her
& never mistreat her, never even think of toying
with her...(i wont do that in the first place..)
Last entry
today will be the last day i blog the things between the two of us.. if not the whole blog site will just be the two of us.. nothing but the two of us..
firstly, i realised something when i was on tour of duty last night.. i remember that whenever there is cracks in the relationship, people tend to be in denial, agitated when asked or give false assurance..i donno how many people have told you about it in the first place..but it seem that i was the unlucky person whose asshole looks bigger now for nothing.. look, you know fully yourself about this relationship right from the start.. yet you have been extending deadline time and time again..this awkward feeling you and i have it..for me, i feel it's already unbearable.. i know you are trying to be tolerance towards him..and to me too.. despite what i blog between the two of us, you either seem to be tolerating or doesnt seem to give a care.. i know that i cant order you who to love.. i have been very "quiet" since the misunderstanding..but i know that you have been reading my blog.. i feel that my actions is still not strong enough to send the msg across through this medium..
secondly, despite what you have done in the friendster as in creating a profile for your bf, whether there is a testimonial or not, i already know that you are behind it..
thirdly, may i know what are you treating me for? a rugged doll waiting to be throw anywhere, at your disposal? when i want to give up, you didnt say anything.. now when i dont want to give up, you ask me to..
lastly, dont compare him to me or to any guys out there, be it past or present or future.. all is unique and different in character..
if you could accept him as a bf in the first place, why cant you accept me on the other hand? are you expecting me to change just for your sake.. if i accept you for who you are and what you are, and didnt ask you to change according to my liking..what right do you have to change me?
im just like a dog been locked up in a kennel, waiting for the owner to come and leash me up, ready to meet the challenges ahead outside of this world....
anyway, this will be the last entry between the two of us..i will be MIA now..for the time being.. but my heart still longs for you.. i will still blog occasionially...
firstly, i realised something when i was on tour of duty last night.. i remember that whenever there is cracks in the relationship, people tend to be in denial, agitated when asked or give false assurance..i donno how many people have told you about it in the first place..but it seem that i was the unlucky person whose asshole looks bigger now for nothing.. look, you know fully yourself about this relationship right from the start.. yet you have been extending deadline time and time again..this awkward feeling you and i have it..for me, i feel it's already unbearable.. i know you are trying to be tolerance towards him..and to me too.. despite what i blog between the two of us, you either seem to be tolerating or doesnt seem to give a care.. i know that i cant order you who to love.. i have been very "quiet" since the misunderstanding..but i know that you have been reading my blog.. i feel that my actions is still not strong enough to send the msg across through this medium..
secondly, despite what you have done in the friendster as in creating a profile for your bf, whether there is a testimonial or not, i already know that you are behind it..
thirdly, may i know what are you treating me for? a rugged doll waiting to be throw anywhere, at your disposal? when i want to give up, you didnt say anything.. now when i dont want to give up, you ask me to..
lastly, dont compare him to me or to any guys out there, be it past or present or future.. all is unique and different in character..
if you could accept him as a bf in the first place, why cant you accept me on the other hand? are you expecting me to change just for your sake.. if i accept you for who you are and what you are, and didnt ask you to change according to my liking..what right do you have to change me?
im just like a dog been locked up in a kennel, waiting for the owner to come and leash me up, ready to meet the challenges ahead outside of this world....
anyway, this will be the last entry between the two of us..i will be MIA now..for the time being.. but my heart still longs for you.. i will still blog occasionially...
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