Battle lost

i have lost the battle once again.. the bulletin wasnt meant for me.. it was for her ex-boyfriend.. naive fool of me..

for once in a sudden, i feel restricted.. i cant express the love for her.. i dont have the freedom to create the feeling in her.. and i feel that i am a substitute for her ex-boyfriend to have this talent of poetry.. the talents in me never show its full potential.. and to think that i force her to like me.. she still doesnt understand me.. and that understanding is too shallow..

i feel betrayed about the way i showered love with care and concern.. love stung me back with its deadly poison.. the feeling is lost and numb.. slow and effective as the poison can be, i breath my very last ounce of air in me.. eyes welled up with tears and watch love fly away.. till then, i died with tinge of regret over the actions that i have done..

no amount of sorry is able to take away the pain i have right now.. sorry is not the word i want to hear right now.. happy to see the state in me right now..