For a change

For a change this coming new year, i dont think i will be blogging quite frequently. I just dont have anything that catches my attention, no personal issues or stuff, neither are there any good or bad news to blog.

By saying that, i could be rather pre-occupied with my personal goals to such an extent that i may be labelled as an anti-social. There is a certainty that my blog will definitely have cob-webs. hah.

Anyway, will like to wish everyone a happy new year. And also, wishing someone, "Happy '20th' Birthday!!" on the last day of the year. Good sia, had 2 birthdays within a year!!

Love Matters

This is one of the ah-beng jokes that cast in film.

Sense of frustration

I feel a sense of frustration yet i dont feel like blogging it out.

Sometimes i really wonder and wish it could have been better.

Sometimes i feel helpless. Even lending out a hand or ear could be prove to be so difficult.

Sometimes i really wish to pour out everything to you. But you may find it hard to understand.

It's so near yet we are so far apart.

Sometimes doubts creeped into my mind.

I wondered is there any way to earn your trust. Again, it proved to be futile.

Argh.

Voice missing

Lately, i have been feeling like someone who got step onto my toes for unknown reasons. Im not that interested or in a way kpo about other people's lives, future plans or whatsoever reasons. Even if people were to tell me, is just one ear in, the other ear out.

On both occasions where we meet up for dinner, i didnt even initiate the topic in the first place. It was the other party that mentioned about it, that i followed up along the way. I recommend someone in a better position to give advise and to talk to, yet i kana arrowed for spreading the news too fast. WTF?!?

Furthermore, i did some minor mistakes, and have apologised. Somehow, i dont think my apologises was sincere enough because i read the blog. And it lead me to think that i shouldnt have apologise at all in the first place.

I just realised that my voice was presumed to be missing.

Superfate

Got this link from Dowagr.

◎Your life is represented by the diamond of wisdom, courageous and organized and you take honesty seriously. You like people who is well-behaved and wise and you also live an elegant life with good taste, which makes you an unique person of artistic temperament. ◎

Your characteristics, subconscious, and behavior modes, according to your fate and destiny, are represented by the diamond. You were born naturally elegant and will enjoy a comfortable lifestyle with a great taste in life.

Diamonds are often brightly displayed in glass cabinet, so you have the extraordinary qualities of an artistic spirit, and are often pampered and treated as the center of attention This may lead you to have fickle, lazy characteristics. Others feel you are not easy to get along with because you are quickly unhappy when your idea isn't followed, and you don't apologize. The diamond has the highest degree of hardness, so you may be a bit stubborn but also full of justice and fairness. You like intelligent people with artistic talent and dislike hypocrites.

You admire those who are willing to sacrifice and dedicate themselves to others with a sense of justice. In your entire life, many individuals are destined to help you in the difficult times because of your previous charitable acts and virtuous character. You are able to live a good life in the present life, so keep this in mind and always help others.

◎There is a background difference between you and your love partner, so it's not easy for her to really understand you. The things you care about she might think totally unimportant and vice versa, so you tend disagree easily over small things.◎

In romance, according to our analysis, you have a high standard of inner and outer beauty, so you are not easily attracted to anyone around you. You despair about not finding your true love, and do not cherish an ordinary romance. Generally speaking, women do not usually have a deep first impression of you, so they need time to discover your advantages and inner beauty. Even if you are attracted to someone at first sight, you might not succeed if the person does not like you at first sight or take the time to get to know you. Therefore, if you are still waiting for a good romance, try to show your inner beauty by doing more activities, establishing better habits, and socializing with more people. This way you can express your inner beauty naturally all the time, which makes your romance go more smoothly.

In the journey of life, you are a bit picky in love, so it's rare for mutual attraction to start the spark of love. However, romance may easily happen during a job or career change, a move to a new environment, or when attending some new activities. When you leave a familiar environment, you are more open to a new romance. You emphasize more on the mental and spiritual strength, so you may marry later in life. If you are still seeking your love partner, among those around you, the person who gets along with you the most and matches your personality, or someone who has always been by your side, might possibly be the one. As long as you pursue the relationship with a sincere heart, happiness is right beside you.

◎Career Analysis: Most of your jobs, in any industry, require your wisdom and intelligence, and may involve academic research or government work.◎

Most of your jobs, in any industry, require your wisdom and intelligence, and may involve academic research or government work. For example, being a teacher, professor, researcher, inventor, literary writer, artist, religious leader, philosopher, doctor, nurse, child caregiver, etc. requires wisdom, intelligence and focus, as well as, spiritual growth. As long as you improve and grow spiritually, maintain a pure and innocent heart, then your value in a company will be irreplaceable. If you choose these types of jobs, your will work go more smoothly (jobs that are labor intensive are not suitable). You tend, however, to think from only your own point of view, and may lack of the broad perspective to be in management or an executive position. Further strengthen your experience, and if you want to reach the next professional level, then you should be more understanding and considerate of other employees and communicate more, in order to improve your leadership ability.

◎Wealth Analysis: You know how to make money, but not easy for you to save. Your have many habits and interests, so you are not stingy with any related costs.◎

According to your destiny analysis, you know how to make money, but not easy for you to save. Your have many habits and interests, so you are not stingy with any related costs. You care about the quality of living, and will spend money to improve your life or spiritual needs. You seldom refuse others and have many occasions to spend. You even spend when you are financially tight, and are very generous when financially comfortable. Therefore, it's not easy for you to have savings. You will use most of your wealth doing what you want to do in life because you think only money spent is wealth actually owned by you. Afterwards, you will not bequest much to your descendants.

Trial leader

Gee! I didnt know leader got trial one. And to think the word is actually trail.

Goals and ambitions

All i could say right now is, i cant wait for the year to end. And anticipating for the new year to come.

I have some personal goals that i wish to achieve it by next year, before i graduate from poly. It will be the best achievement if i could accomplish it before 2009 comes to an end. So i have exactly one year to get it done. And im damn eager to get it running and couldnt contain my excitement. Sounds like a young boy who is waiting for his rewards. *feet tapping anxiously*

Im Yours - Jason Mraz

Im Yours

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
Now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's gonna to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment, maybe sing with me
All - ah peaceful melody
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Scooch on closer dear
And I will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours
Please don't, please don't, please don't
There's no need to complicate
Cause our time is short
This is out fate, I'm yours

Unknown reasons

For some unknown reasons, i cant feel anything especially stress. Even when common tests is like next week.

I have attend, participate and contribute faithfully in projects, tutorials and lectures. I even told my friends about it and they were quite shocked about it.

I think something is wrong with me. And i hope stress comes earlier before next week starts.

Natal Chart

This one is done on Facebook. And i find it quite accurate after input with my date of birth and time of birth. Comments are in red.

The Sun in Cancer The Sun and its place on your chart are the most important information astrology can provide you with. Your most powerful energies and force-of-will are denoted by the Sun's position. Traits: Emotional, Loving, Intuitive, Imaginative, Shrewd, Cautious, Protective and Sympathetic Dark Traits: Changeable, Moody, Overemotional, Touchy, Clinging and Unable To Let Go You were born during a period when the Sun was in Cancer. The Cancer's first love is its home and family. They love to nurture those around them. No sacrifice is too large to ensure their home is secure and their loved ones are safe and happy. They are very kind and sharing. Cancers are also very moody, and often retreat into themselves to regenerate, or sometimes sulk. The quickest way for them to rebound from such moments is to do what they do best: nurture others. Cancers can be very iron-willed and like to have things their way. They are very sensitive to slights and hurt easily. When pained Cancers will retreat into themselves and brood. Although generally they do not like confrontation, Cancers are not above seeking revenge against those that hurt them. Cancers are compassionate and freely show their affection for others. They will set their problems aside to assist others in solving theirs. Being extremely intuitive, they often know what is upsetting someone without being told. They are great communicators and can often help those in trouble with just a few words. Overall, Cancers are quite gregarious. They love to socialize with their friends and family. Their need to care for those in their circle makes them an asset to any family. Sun Sextile or Trine Mars Your optimism and energy make you attractive to most people. You love to compete and win, but manage not to be a sore loser. You are full of justified self-confidence that will take you a long ways towards success in any venture you attempt. (Quite true) Sun Conjunct Jupiter You overflow with positive life qualities like optimism and confidence. For you life is an adventure and you intend to explore all that is before you to the utmost. Sometimes you are ambivalent, because you are not sure what to do next. (Quite true) Sun Opposition or Square Pluto You are seeker of power. You want to be known and remembered as someone special. Although you hide the force of your ambitions well, within you lies the potential for fanaticism. (Erm, hmm..)

Moon In Libra The placement of the Moon on your chart denotes a region of life you travel through based upon your instincts. The Moon's placement often points to emotional issues we must address. You are seeker of the "Peaceable Kingdom." You will go to any length to create a conflict-free, pleasant environment for you and your loved ones. Your gift is the ability to traverse the differences between people and create unity and harmony amongst them. You give warmth to all and make every effort to make everyone feel accepted. While you appear to be on an even keel, you wrestle with your inner-self over what direction to take in your life. (True) Moon Conjunct Pluto While you possess deep even fiery emotions, you try to keep them hidden from the world. However, sometimes they do come out and their strength may even surprise you. You are very passionate and capable of a love far deeper than most will ever experience. (errrrr...)

Mercury In Leo The position of Mercury on your chart will give you insight into how you communicate with others and learn. You have a very healthy mental self. Your mind is energetic and you always eager to immerse yourself in studying whatever it is that currently interest you. Your method of thinking is very consistent and logical, which allows you to excel at planning things. You have the ability to stay focused and absorb a great deal of knowledge quickly. (hahaha, true..) You like crowds and do not shy away from the limelight. Giving a speech should be a cakewalk for you. You understand your native tongue and have a talent with words which could easily let you follow a career in writing . You approach to most things is laid-back. This can be a problem when a more serious stance is needed. You are somewhat dogmatic, and not too accepting of opinions that differ from your own. (true, alamak.. like that people know me inside out liao..) Mercury Opposition or Square Uranus Your thinking can be very innovative and foment both discovery and new approaches to solving old problems. You do not concentrate your cognitive powers all that well. Your thinking tends to take many directions at once. You need an environment that can provide your mind with an endless well of problems to tackle. (I think too much, that's why.) Mercury Sextile or Trine Neptune You are attracted to avenues of thought which defy the rational. When allowed your imagination takes you to places most people don’t know exist. The arts probably attract you as a form of personal expression. (not enough creative juice from my brain leh) Mercury Sextile or Trine Pluto You are enthralled by hidden truths. You love to "uncover" the truth. Your mind is strong enough to allow you to explore the inner-core of consciousness. You probably are attracted to the mysterious and occult. (Curiosity kills the cat!!)

Venus In Virgo Where Venus appears on your chart will provide you with information on how you relate to others on an emotional level. While you are truly a loving person who is both caring and deeply romantic, you can be a bit too reliant on your loved ones. They can no more sate your every need than you can theirs. You are not one to create conflict in a relationship. You will do whatever you can to keep things peaceful and harmonious. In matters of the heart you tend to take the plunge before taking the time to see if you and your partner are really right for each other. This approach can lead to some gigantic let-downs for you. Still your need to love and be loved is so strong that any false starts will only slow you down for a short time. (Been there, done that before) You are an aesthete. Art in almost any form moves you. Venus Conjunct Saturn You are not very comfortable with deep emotional relationships. For you, the depth of feeling of those who show an interest in you is always suspect. Your lack of self-confidence makes you question your worthiness to be loved.

Mars In Virgo Mars is the planet of action. Its placement on your chart will indicate your level of aggression and competitiveness. You aspire to have your work meet the highest standards. Excellence is not a goal, but a necessity to you. Because you set such lofty guidelines for yourself you often feel that only you can do the job right. You pride yourself in maintaining an error-free work environment. When things do not meet your expectations you can become very bad-tempered. Your need for perfection can cause you to doubt your own abilities to attain a goal. While you are usually very realistic about what you can achieve, there are times when you turn projects down, because self-doubts make it seem you are not adept enough to reach the project's goal. You can also be a bit picky, which may alienate those working with you. (True to both points) Mars Sextile or Trine Jupiter You have the spirit of an entrepreneur. Your positive attitude and ability to focus on reaching your goals makes success almost a certainty for you. Your goals usually are on a grand scope and have an eye towards future events. You never tire of succeeding, which tends to make you move from one project to the next quickly. (hmmmmm...) Mars Sextile or Trine Uranus You are full of energy and not afraid to make snap decisions. You like a bit of a risk factor in the projects you take on. You’re not really suited for long term projects since you need to see results all the time to remain interested. You make a far better team leader than you do a subordinate, because you simply do not take orders well. (Will not hesitated to say no.) Mars Opposition or Square Neptune You are driven by your fantasy world. That said you are clearly best suited for a career in the arts where you have the opportunity to express yourself in a more abstract, cerebral way. You are not a high energy person, so long term projects may exhaust your energies before they are actually completed.

Jupiter In Cancer Jupiter deals with where the Universe is definitely on your side. Your warmth and willingness to accept all people for who they truly are makes even the most inhibited people feel comfortable around you. You never allow anyone to be left out of what your group is doing. You like the role of caring for those who are having a difficult time caring for themselves. You strive to bring those who feel disenfranchised from life back into the fold of humanity. Your strong sense of family makes want to offer everyone the opportunity to be a part of a warm, supportive group. (Only to those whom i trusted) Jupiter Sextile or Trine Uranus Sometimes it seems things really do just fall into place for you. You tend to get things done with a minimum of effort. People are attracted to your success and often want to become a part of it. (Very true, even things that i dont want to know, will also fall onto my lap. =.=) Jupiter Opposition or Square Pluto You think in very large terms and usually aim to effect the future. Attaining your goals is all important to you. You are likely to socialize with people who can help you realize your dreams.

Saturn In Leo Saturn probes our sense of inadequacy. Where Saturn is on your chart will provide a key to where you feel your weakest. You tend to need a lot of praise from others to compensate for your lack of faith in yourself. Even social settings that should be fun and unthreatening are labor for you.

Uranus In Scorpio Because of distance Uranus is from the Sun, its astrological influence is measured in increments of 7 years. What this means is that the effects of Uranus influence an entire generation. The placement of Uranus on your chart denotes an area where you can expect the unexpected from the Universe and yourself. Because of distance Uranus is from the Sun, its astrological influence is measured in increments of 7 years. What this means is that the effects of Uranus influence and entire generation. Your generation is noted for their willingness to dispel social taboos of all kinds. You push the boundaries of accepted behavior. Fanaticism is a common trait in your generation.

Neptune In Sagittarius Because of distance Neptune is from the Sun, its astrological influence is generally measured in increments of 14 years. What this means is that the effects of Neptune will influence an entire generation in a like manner. Neptune is the Astrological Wildcard. The area in which Neptune appears on your chart is a place where there are no rules. Anything can happen. You are member of a generation of dreamers and purveyors of the future. You and your contemporaries are very broad-minded and thrive on new forms of spirituality. Traditional religions are far too dogmatic to serve you well, so you are very likely to explore alternative routes to find your spiritual self. Neptune Trine Pluto You were born in a period when there was an underlying current of spiritual awareness prevailed. Collectively your generation has a desire to increase the depths of their spiritual self.

Pluto In Libra Because of the distance Pluto is from the Sun, its astrological influence is generally measured in increments ranging from 12 to 30 years. What this means is that the effects of Pluto influence an entire generations. The Pluto/Leo collective includes people born within a 12 year time span. Those under the Pluto/Leo influence want to improve how people communicate on both a social and personal level. You feel much of the world's problems stem from poor communication, so the best way to create a better world is to create more effective forms of relating to one another as individuals as well as groups. People of this generation truly want to create a more harmonious world in which to live. To do so they are often quick to lessen the importance of their differences and concentrate on what is important to all humans.

More About Cancer

Famous Cancers: Bill Cosby, Henry VIII, Princess Diana, Mike Tyson, Julius Caesar, Nelson Mandela, Rembrandt, H. Ross Perot, Dan Aykroyd, Geraldo Rivera, Ringo, Buckminster Fuller, Alexander the Great, Estée Lauder, and Marshall McLuhan Ideal Occupations: Cancers are well-suited to be doctors, pharmacists, teachers, nutritionists, chefs, realtors -- any position in which they can feel truly useful. Lucky Numbers: 4, 13, 22, 31, 40, 48, 57 Cancers Are Usually Most Compatible With: Scorpio or Pisces Planet: The Moon Element: Water Star Stone: Pearl

Pictures

Here are some of the pictures that is taken during the BA Amazing Race and this morning, Business Communication, where we have to wear formal for a networking dining etiquette. Not going to upload them. But will provide a link. =p

BA Amazing Race

Business Communication

*quickly run away before people throw eggs and rotten tomatoes at me*

BA Amazing Race

Just had a BA Amazing Race organized by BA Society over the weekend.

I was practically plurking on the move to where i go, what i did.

Tasks that i did:
- Find 4 people (game organizers) in AMK Hub
- Climb 30 stories of stairs at Toa Payoh. Is at those blocks where they build 40 stories.
- Swallow 2 chilli padi without biting. Pick millworms and frogs. Fear Factor style.
- Truth and dare task at Vivo. Shouted to a Christmas tree, "im sorry!" (this one my friend video it, and what in my handphone stays in my handphone.)

Though didnt get to the final round of the race, we have lots of fun and tired.

History in the making

Ever since Obama has been voted as President of USA on Nov 4, there isnt much news to talk about as the whole world is going through a major financial crisis. We are more or less getting used to the fact.

But to go through a Great Depression? What are the chances? Not in our lifetime?

Seriously, if i were to get married and have children, i would be the first one to say, "When i was at your age, i have experienced a Great Depression." Though not first hand experience, but we did saw how sub-prime and credit crunch caused the US economy to tumble.

What make me going to say that?

Firstly, the economy have not picked up since US inject $700b. Secondly, under normal circumstances, Dow Jones Index should start going up after 10 months of declining, that is according to past statistics and history. Sub prime crisis started in November 07, and we are exactly one year in it. If by March 2009, the index still doesnt start climbing, then we are really in a depression with a capital D.

Ebay

Hey guys, my group have just set up a Ebay site for our project. Feel free to take a look despite limited items and limited time.

Here is the site

Kam sia. Thank you. Te-ma-ka-seh. Xie Xie.

First break all the rules

WHY EMPLOYEES LEAVE ORGANISATIONS ? - Azim Premji, CEO- Wipro

Every company faces the problem of people leaving the company for better pay or profile.

Early this year, Mark, a senior software designer, got an offer from a prestigious international firm to work in its India operations developing specialized software. He was thrilled by the offer.

He had heard a lot about the CEO. The salary was great. The company had all the right systems in place employee-friendly human resources (HR) policies, a spanking new office, and the very best technology, even a canteen that served superb food.

Twice Mark was sent abroad for training. "My learning curve is the sharpest it's ever been," he said soon after he joined.

Last week, less than eight months after he joined, Mark walked out of the job.

Why did this talented employee leave?

Arun quit for the same reason that drives many good people away.

The answer lies in one of the largest studies undertaken by the Gallup Organization. The study surveyed over a million employees and 80,000 managers and was published in a book called "First Break All The Rules". It came up with this surprising finding:

If you're losing good people, look to their immediate boss. Immediate boss is the reason people stay and thrive in an organization. And he’s the reason why people leave. When people leave they take knowledge, experience and contacts with them, straight to the competition.

"People leave managers not companies," write the authors Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman.

Mostly manager drives people away?

HR experts say that of all the abuses, employees find humiliation the most intolerable. The first time, an employee may not leave, but a thought has been planted. The second time that thought gets strengthened. The third time, he looks for another job.

When people cannot retort openly in anger, they do so by passive aggression. By digging their heels in and slowing down. By doing only what they are told to do and no more. By omitting to give the boss crucial information. Dev says: "If you work for a jerk, you basically want to get him into trouble. You don’t have your heart and soul in the job."

Different managers can stress out employees in different ways - by being too controlling, too suspicious, too pushy, too critical, but they forget that workers are not fixed assets, they are free agents. When this goes on too long, an employee will quit - often over a trivial issue.

Talented men leave. Dead wood doesn't.

Riddles

Some interesting riddles. Answer will be posted the next day.

1. It's more powerful than God. It's more evil than the devil. The poor have it. The rich need it. If you eat it, you'll die. What am I?

2. What is the begining of the end, the end of an edge, and the end of time and space?

3. A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender pulls out a shotgun and points it at him. The man says, thank you and leaves. Why?

4. ( Not really a riddle but interesting nonetheless )
The paragraph below is most unusual. How quickly can you find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so ordinary you'd think nothing was wrong with it - and in fact, nothing is wrong with it. It is unusual though. Why?

"Gatsby was walking back from a visit down in Branton Hill's manufacturing district on a Saturday night. A busy day's traffic had had its noisy run; and with not many folks in sight, His Honor got along without having to stop to grasp a hand, or talk; for a mayor out of City Hall is a shining mark for any politician. And so, coming to Broadway, a booming bass drum and sounds of singing, told of a small Salvation Army unit carrying on amidst Broadway's night shopping crowds. Gatsby, walking towards that group, saw a young girl, back toward him, just finishing a long, soulful oration ... "

(The above passage is taken from the book "Gatsby" written by Ernest Vincent Wright in the late 1930's)

5. I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown and make your champane bubble.
If you squeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?

97% of Harvard graduates can not figure this riddle out, but 84% of kindergarten students were able to figure this out in 6 minutes or less. Can you guess the correct answer?

Answers:

No. 1 = "nothing"
Nothing is more powerful than God.
Nothing is more evil than the devil.
The poor have nothing.
The rich need nothing.
If you eat nothing, you'll die.

No 2 is Letter E

No 3 is he got hiccups
No 4 is Letter E does not appear through out the whole paragraph,"E" is special because its the most used alphabet in the English language.
No 5 The answer is simple. Can you guess the riddle? No.

Gillian's Vantage

I got this video for my IS e-learning assignment.

Story:
John is alone. He is still feeling the effects of the loss of his wife and he is crippled. He have no intention to move on his life until his friend make a risk and arrange a meeting with a girl. Before the meet-up, he view people around the restaurant as negative. He is hard-up on himself and view himself as a perfect person. Even when the girl arrives, he blame his friend for giving the wrong description of the girl. Watch how the girl open his heart.

Im sharing this video because i find it differently from the movies. Movies use the same old formula to capture the audience. An ordinary man, overnight become superhero, villains know his weakness, capture the girl, hero save the girl. End of story.



Enjoy!

Fairweather bandwagon..NOT!!

Actually i did use the Facebook the first time quite long ago, but quit the program as i find it not to my liking, to say the mildest.

Some people tried their best to lure me back to Facebook, but i dont have the interest to recreate the account again. They tried all sorts of means, but the force is not strong enough to convince me. Email invitations, CBB, MSN conversations, you name it, they can do better than those relationship managers that tried to sell 'Minibonds' to retirees or uneducated investors. Have to give them credit for what is due ma.

Yesterday morning recreated account in Facebook and caused some eyebrows to be raised. To sign up Facebook again for no apparent reason, i must be the most bo liao person at the moment. So im safe to say that im not a fairweather fan that anyhow jump onto the bandwagon. The reason is so simple, still need to think meh?

The next one most prob will be Plurk. Not because majority of the Barflies have moved from CBB to Plurk, neither is it for the karma. The reason i could think of at the moment is the networking. Whether Plurk is evil or is addictive, i have no idea, but see how it goes. Fairweather fan? I doubt so.

Weekend Escape and Reflection

Finally head up north to Johor with my friends. Spent about M$47.20(S$20) for movies, DVDs and some roadside stall for stingray. Although it doesnt really give me a much needed physical and mental rest, but it does take away some unneeded stress off me.

Some of my classmates and friends have mentioned that i have changed. And is very different from the one that they knew in school one year back. Im not going to mentioned what they have say to me, is for you to find out and for me to know. But im taking it in a good way. Guess the incident do play a part in changing the way i think and the way i blog.

I have also got an update from my academic manager. The assurance from her helps alot in my situation. Phew.

Anyway, still got 2 more days to go to the US elections. Everyone will be gluing their eyes to their television to find out who will be the 44th President of USA. Barack Obama or John McCain.

Crush Calculator

Anyone want to give it a try?

Crush Calculator

Interesting Intro

A few days ago, I have to meet a girl from other classes as she didnt attend the first tutorial, but is in our project group for a particular module.

Here is the conversation:

Me: Hi, you are [name taken out]. right? I am Gary. Just need to inform you that you are in our project group.

She: Oh hi. Ok. Thanks.

Me: Can i have your contact number and msn to give you an update of our project?

She: Sure. No problem. By the way, do you drive?

Me: Yes.

She: How long you got your license?

Me: 6 years ago

She: (stunned) How old are you?

Me: 25.

She: Any intention to get married?

Me: No.

She: Haha. Ok. Here is my contact number and msn.

I was totally taken back the way the ice was broken. Totally randomness. If this counts for first impression, she really leave a deep deep one to me. Interesting introduction yet feeling weird at the same time.

Opinions

In a blink of an eye, im left with 1 and 1/2 years to go before i graduate. And now im facing with the opportunity to opt for the 6 months Industrial Attachment Programme (IAP) rather than staying in school.

I have mentioned before that im not into studies, so no point asking what is my GPA. So far, no one knows. Not even my classmates. Yet when i ask everyone that i know, all say 3.5. WTF! What i lack in my studies, i make up by answering whatever questions that lecturers and tutors have asked.

On the other hand, i have work experience. im not sure how my previous employers view me. Though the way i blog in the past seem to give the impression that im a prima donna, but i got my own reasons for doing it. That's another post for another day.

The situation looks 50-50 to me. I have no idea how the procedures for IAP is done, though the requirements is good character, willing to learn and having a reasonable GPA. I have no idea whether my working experience will help.

I have email to my academic manager to seek her advise. At the meantime, opinions are welcomed.

Done with housekeeping

Im done with my housekeeping of my blog. And i realised something. Someone have read my whole blog and applied every tricks that i have been through before. No wonder i feel a sense of deja vu. Wow. I have saw the latest picture and again, i was not convinced. Their cheekbones, noses and lips are almost the same. Nephews or cousins perhaps.

There is one thing that im very assured of. She will not find true love if she is not truthful to herself. Even if she did, it wont last long. True love does not exist if there is no truth.

She can go all the way and lie to me, there is every possibility she could lie to her friends, parents and siblings.

Oh well, lucky i cut my losses early. Not my problem anyway.

The Gingham Dress

Got this email from one of my tutors.

A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President's outer office.

The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard & probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge.

'We'd like to see the president,' the man said softly.

'He'll be busy all day,' the secretary snapped.

'We'll wait,' the lady replied.

For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't, and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted.

'Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they'll leave,' she said to him!

He sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the time to spend with them, and he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office.

The president, stern faced and with dignity, strutted toward the couple. The lady told him, 'We had a son who attended Harvard for one year.He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus.'

The president wasn't touched. He was shocked. 'Madam,' he said, gruffly, 'we can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery.'

'Oh, no,' the lady explained quickly. 'We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard.'

The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, 'A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard.'

For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now.

The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, 'Is that all it costs to start a university? Why don't we just start our own?'

Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment.

Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the university that bears their name, Stanford University, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.

You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing for them................................A TRUE STORY By Malcolm Forbes

People will forget what you said,

People will forget what you did.

But people will never forget how you made them feel

Reliable Realist

Reliable Realists are down-to-earth and responsible-minded. They are precise, reserved and demanding. Their most prominent quality is reliability and they will always make every effort to keep any promise given. Reliable Realists are more quiet and serious persons, they do not talk a lot but they are good listeners. They sometimes seem reserved and distant to outsiders although they often have a great deal of wit and esprit. Their strong points are thoroughness, a marked sense of justice, doggedness bordering on pigheadedness and a pragmatic, vigorous and purposeful manner. Reliable Realists do not dither about if something has to be done. They do what is necessary without wasting words.

This personality type not only expects a lot of himself but also of others. Once Reliable Realists have set their mind on something, it is difficult to persuade them otherwise. They do not like to leave anything to chance. Planning means safety to Reliable Realists, as well as order and discipline. They have no problem respecting authorities and hierarchies but do not like to delegate tasks. They are certain that others would not deal with them as conscientiously as they do. In management positions, they are very task-oriented - they make sure that things are well done; however, they do not have a great deal of interest in personal contacts at work.

In relationships too, Reliable Realists are reliability itself. As partners, they are faithful and consistent, well-balanced and sensible. Security and stability are very important to them. They have little time for extravagances and flightiness. Whoever has them as friend or partner can rely on them for a lifetime. However, it takes quite a while for Reliable Realists to enter into a relationship or friendship. They have little need for social contacts; they therefore take great care when choosing partners and friends and limit themselves to a small but exclusive circle which meets their high demands. They tend to show their closeness to people who are important to them by deeds - their partner should rather not expect romantic declarations of love.

Adjectives which describe your type

introverted, practical, logical, planning, tradition-conscious, organised, persistent, objective, tidy, conscientious, cautious, loyal, peace-loving, sensible, down-to-earth, responsible-minded, reserved, careful, independent, punctual, precise, demanding, ability to concentrate, trustworthy, pedantic, reliable, persevering

These subjects could interest you

literature, technical activities (model-making), voluntary work, music, trekking, camping, hiking, cooking, drawing/painting, handicraft work, writing, strategy games, politics.

iPersonic Test

Dream - Funeral

Recently there seen to be some dreams that i can remembered after waking up. I have dreamt about airplane crashing infront of where i live.

I also dreamt of people who vomited wherever they went. Is like they vomited non-stop for no apparent reason. It wasnt an issue to blog as i didnt think of anything unusual. But it does have a relation to my incident that happened last month.

And now, i dreamt where im attending a funeral. All seem scary to me or the dreams that appeared to me. Yet i still can remembered it. I must be crazy already.

Anyway, here are the interpretations of the dreams that i had.

Vomiting

To dream that you are vomiting, indicates that you need to reject or discard an aspect of your life that is revolting. There are some emotions or concepts that you need to confront and then let go.

To see others vomiting in your dream, signifies false pretenses of people who try to take advantage of you.

Funeral

To dream of your own funeral, symbolizes an ending to a situation or aspect of yourself. You may be repressing some of your feelings or parts of yourself and the dream may be a signal for you to recognize and acknowledge those feelings. Instead of confronting a situation, you are dealing with it by burying it and trying to forget about it. If you are nearing death, a funeral dream may relate to your feelings/anxieties about your own death.

To dream that you are at somebody else's funeral, signifies that you are burying an old relationship and closing the lid on the past. You may be letting go some of the feelings (resentment, anger, hostility toward someone) that you've been clinging onto.

To dream that you are attending a funeral for a still-living parent, suggests that you need to separate yourself from your parent's restrictions and confines. The symbolic death may give you the courage you need to take the next step toward your independence and autonomy.

To dream that you are at the funeral of an unknown person, suggests that something in your life is supposed to put to rest or put aside so that you can make room for something new. You need to investigate further what aspect or component of your life you need to let go.

Sources taken from Dream Moods.

After seeing the interpretations, i have no idea which aspect of me will be buried for good or which person whom i still have a grudge with. I really have no idea.

Cleaning up

I will be doing some housekeeping to my blog over the next few days. To those who have RSS feed to my site, please bear with me if i didnt update, yet still receive notifications.

Great, now i have to read my own thoughts from the start and to see whether i have change for the better or for the worse. I also can see how i could handle better in past situations and incidents from my current point of view or angle.

I wont erase anything even if im in a losing end. What had been done is done.

Now is also a good time to re-evaluate as the year end is just round the corner.

For a day

Today was the first tutorial and i pass a piece of paper around the class to get contacts. The piece of paper only returned to me at the end of the tutorial. I didnt take a look as i was rushing for time.

After reaching home and have done my daily ritual in front of laptop, i take out the piece of paper to type and pass it back to everyone.

To my horror, i have became a nurse or an invigilator for a day. 18 wannabe doctors trying their best to scribble their contacts and expect me to know what they are scribbling. Good thing was, i know some of my classmates. Bad thing was, none was online to help me to verify the contacts. I did what i did best: Try my luck.

While i was typing out all the email address to send, i was also praying hard that what i type were able to go through, and no bounced mail. Clicked "SEND" and next thing i knew, 2 email address were bounced. Tsk.

An inevitable task, no thanks for that.

BaZi - Four Pillars of Destiny

Personality and Character

Integrity is a word to describe you. You are luxuriously loving and have a great capacity to accumulate wealth and very good in conserving them. You not only know how to appreciate them but also truly fascinated by its conservation and perpetuation. An emotional person, you are in pursuit of physical pleasure and luxuries. Tenacity is your trump card and nothing can prevent you from holding to your ideas and ways.

You are very gentle by nature, and can be quite obsessive with the idea of justice and fair play. You are bright, easy to get along with smooth and diplomatic in your dealings. As an innovative person you always promote new ideas, introduce new things and have a creative mind. Even though you may be gentle but you are often considered cynical, critical and can be eccentric.

Romance and Compatibilities

You're extremely sensitive, dutiful and traditional thus making your sexual and sentimental life satisfying. However, there is one thing funny about you, your self-denial or restriction of pleasure nags your thoughts. You need to be seduced. Your most compatible partners are Scorpio and Pisces born in the year of Rabbit/Ram.

You are practical in love and careful so that you will not get hurt. You are not clear of your intention and leave others to do the guessing. You like to deal in an indirect way of attracting the opposite sex like sending flowers, remembering birthdays or giving gifts to show your thoughtfulness and to show how much you care. As a status conscious person you are always constantly looking for a partner or lover who holds high position, social standing and accomplishment.

Profession

With your imposing and graceful manner, you will never turn back once you go forward. So it is quite difficult to see that you cannot succeed in life. Whatever you do, you will not only do it well but with excellent results. You enjoy giving to others and so it is difficult to see you holding high position.

As a creative and sensitive person you are likely to get yourself involved in a profession related to beauty like fashion, jewelry, art galleries and specialties like a boutique, florist or even in theatre. Fashion designing, photography, arts and crafts, modelling or new technologies such as animation are also your best picks. You are good in fields that require details, creativity and appreciation of arts, music, play, ornaments or any profession that involves beauty.

BaZi - Four Pillars of Destiny

MacRitchie Reservoir (2)

Today i pass by MacRitchie Reservoir and memories of that place makes me chuckle for a moment. This place is famous for 2 things - cross country run and a hangout place for couples. I browsed through my archives and found out that i did blog about patrolling that area during my NS time. The post abit vague but im going into details how fun it was. And also going to touch on how we treat cross-country run during practices and actual competition differently.

During my secondary school days, it was a single session so after lesson ends in the afternoon, we were required to go for practices for the cross country at MacRitchie every week during a 2 months period. You all could imagine the bus we board from our school to the destination, we can reach there in 30 minutes. Why? Because the bus is so full and the driver cannot stop until we reach the destination. And the bus looks so empty after that.

Practices for cross country were very lax, there were no time keeper or a person to flag off. Officially there were 2 routes to run, a shorter route for girls and a longer route for guys. But we got 1 more unofficially route, which is the shortcut. Once run into the forest, we go up the hill and reach the pavement already. Again, we have to see our mood whether we want to have a serious run (boy route) or cut short the time by going through girls route. Teachers know about it and when the actual day comes, there will be "guards" stationed at the designated spots to prevent any cheating. Anyway, this is one of the many memories that i had in secondary school.

Fast forward a few years later, im in NS already. And i get to patrol with my colleagues in Bishan area which covers MacRitchie Reservoir. I did bring my dog out to patrol but he got car-sickness that he vomitted during the trip, and we have to bring him back to let him have a rest. This is when the real fun begins.

We went back to MacRitchie Reservoir again to patrol. We didnt use any torchlights to disturb the environment. But in order to show our presence, we have to switch on the blinkers when we patrol. That's a standard operating procedure (SOP). I remembered very clearly it was on a Saturday as there were too many cars with air-con switch on to full blast. The cars have been there for quite long due to the cold mist that is form on the windscreen.

We also cannot act like chee-ko peks that peek into the cars and see what is happening inside the car. We never get to see and we never know. We were only there to patrol but to have fun as well.

After that, we head to Bishan Stadium carpark to have an official break and rest. When we reach there, we saw only one cab in the carpark. Feeling strange, we decided to have fun again. Bear in mind, the blinkers were on throughout the whole night. But before we wanted to have fun, one lady sit right up and stare at us. We didnt get frightened, but we get out of the place after we drove around the stadium premises. 20 minutes later, we went back again and the cab was still there. Again she spoil the fun by sitting up and stare at us. We left the place without having an official break yet. But my colleague was so tired from driving for the whole night that he suggested going back to Bishan Stadium carpark to take a rest. However when we got back, the cab is nowhere to be seen. Maybe we have scare them away instead.

This is my most memorable patrolling that i had in my NS life. I have nothing but wonderful memories of MacRitchie Reservoir.

Catching up

I think i have some serious catching up to do to make up for the last 2 years. Most of the time that i spent during that period of time were working in weekends. But with the current situation at the work place, I have decided to quit. Good thing, i dont have to serve any notice before i quit as im just a part-timer.

Anyway, intend to use the free time on Saturdays to do whatever i want. Haha.

- Going to beaches
- Explore Singapore
- See how Sentosa have change
- Going to zoo, birdpark
- Picking up a new interest or hobby (Got people ask me whether i know how to ice-skate =.=)
- Go to neighbouring countries.

Ok, i may sound cliche at the moment, but this is the best time that i could find to do things that i intend to do. If not, i donno when is the next free time i could find.

Dont say i no good hor, at least im helping Singapore economy lor.

An Afternoon with Jim Rogers

On Monday, I went to NUS Cultural Centre Hall to attend a talk by Jim Rogers, organised by NUS Business School, NTU Business School and Action Community for Entrepreneurship (ACE).

It was a short and interesting talk by Jim Rogers. He mentioned two words throughout the hour long talk.

China - In the 80s, it was London. In the 90s, USA. And now, in the 21th century, China is going to be the next big thing. Though it is a communist country, they are opening up to international trade in a rapid pace.

Commodities - This investment area is currently the least investors will invest in. People still dont understand how commodities works. Actually it works in the most basic way of life. Global supply and demand of commodities. Yet it is the highest return among all the investment products if you invest in the long-run.

Love Me - Collin Raye

I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me. He said,
"Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I loved your Grandma so."

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.
Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead
Of her, I found this letter, and this is what it said:

If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till I see you again,
I'll be loving you. Love, me.

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away,
In the doorway of a church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray.
I know I'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;
But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.

If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till I see you again,
I'll be loving you. Love, me.
Between now and then, till I see you again,
I'll be loving you. Love, me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This country music was first heard in my attachment place. And i thought it was the latest song. Tsk.

Bad management

I have never seen anything like that before.. no, is not the current economy crisis. But im referring to my workplace where i worked part time. I have not went back to work for 2 months due to my attachment and my own incident. Yet, there is more happening at the workplace than the economy crisis.

Firstly, there is this particular manager that no one likes to work with. Even when there is alot of orders or large crowd to dine in, he will sit down doing his own things without helping. The thing is, the schedule have put enough manpower to handle the volume of expected sales to be met for the day. So, we cant help each other to cope the unexpected volume as every individual have to rush the orders. In order to make him realise his mistakes, whenever he work, there will be a high number of absentees.

Complaints make to the boss were either meet with logic and reasoning, but no action. After awhile, we realise that the boss was not interested in making the workplace happy, as she was more interested in profits just like those American bankers do.

In order to nick the bud, the boss should have either transfer the manager out to another place or put more manpower though there might be less profits to be make. At least there is service standard been maintained and who knows, there could be more sales and lead to more profits. She never see this in the long run. And the virus spread to the whole workplace that more and more staff have no morale to work. They basically go and work just for the sake of money.

Secondly, a trainee manager was caught for stealing money right under the nose of CCTV and in front of the boss. When i heard how the trainee manager steal, i was astonished that she exploited a loophole that we have never think of it. She is just like a book that cannot be judged by its cover. Last i heard, she disappeared into thin air despite numerous calls to contact her for an explanation.

Thirdly, another female manager have resigned because the boss did not handle the second situation professionally as it should supposed to be. And because of this, she literally lose respect in the boss and tender her resignation on the spot.

Lastly, the boss herself have requested to look for a new job in Subway.

All in all, i have not step into the place at all for the last 2 months. I still in contact with the female manager and other colleagues who told me the news. The bud is not nicked and the boss is looking for a new job, who would want to work at this kind of place?

New chapter of life

7 weeks of attachment over!! *throw confetti*

I dont have to hound someone week in week out liao.

Tomorrow marks a new beginning of school term and a new chapter of my life. Just cant wait for school to start despite having no rest during the holidays.

Seed Planted

A few days back, Jaywalk asked me this question, "How come you have a sudden interest in US economy?"

The only answer i could come up with, "I dont know, maybe my tutor have planted the seed that got me interested in global economies issues."

Before that, if anyone ask me about current affairs and economies issues, i will give a dumbfounded face and say, "Huh?"

After one year (which is 2 semesters) of hearing the same tutor talking about economies issues, asking us to read the papers daily, surf the internet to catch the latest news just so that we are able to, at least, answer the questions that she have set in the exams paper. I think that how the interest comes about.

I may not get the full picture of the whole situation though i try to understand as much as possible. I understand what sub-prime or credit crunch have caused to the US economy especially to US banks to go under or bought by the government. The bailout was an intervention from the government although the US promotes free trade. There is no 100% free trade or having laissez faire system, again quoted by my tutor. If i dont understand, i sms my tutor. I dont think she really mind about it.

Oh, she was also the one that made sarcastic remarks when i first attend her class. How time and impression changes overtime. Hope you are not annoyed when i sms or mentioned about the past.

The Blame Game

Initially when i read Jaywalk's post where Tan Kin Lian blames everyone including MAS, i felt uneasy and troubled. I was not prepared to blog without research or finding out details. But after reading today's newspaper article featuring Dr Money where he touch on structured products, i decided to go ahead. Do not hesitate to correct me if im wrong.

It was widely reported where Lehman Brothers are still selling Minibonds one month before filing for bankrupty. Does anyone foresee that Lehman Brothers was one of the banks to go under?

Dr Money stated that the products were sold in mid-2007 and was given a good credit rating by S&P. And where are we now? Oct 2008!! That's like 15 months ago. And Mr Tan Kin Lian stated in his blog, "Blame MAS for not vetting stringently the products before allowing for release into the market."

Forgive me, but i have some burning questions waiting to be answered.

1. Did MAS foresee that Lehman Brothers is going to be in trouble in 2007?
2. Does Singapore banks, financial companies or sales personnel know Lehman is going to be bankrupt in 2008 at that time?

If MAS, local banks, financial companies and sales personnel knows about it, and still sells it to investors, then yes, i believe that MAS have neglect its duty.

My jaws dropped when i saw reports where investors put in their life-long savings into it. I think the sales people must have say these magic words, "Uncle/auntie, you should invest more, you get more in return. Besides, if you invest more, you get a free laptop/LCD HD TV."

These products are not low-risk, low-returns. It's high-risk, high-returns. You could lose 100% of the principal sum for the worst case or earn interest more than fixed deposits interest rates. In order to earn more commission, sales people go for the more complex products to sell in order to hit their sales targets. I wonder does the sales people teach people not to put all their eggs in one basket. Perhaps both the company's and the sales people's integrity were to questioned?

In conclusion, i take a quote from Jaywalk's post: If want to blame, blame yourself also. But if i have to blame, i will lay my fingers on US banks.

By the way, Dr Money have break down the details of structured products to layman terms. But even as a student, i have to re-read in order to understand even in layman terms. I wonder how the investors are able to understand the complex terms of the products.

Timeline

Geez, for a moment, i dont know how to begin this post.

Before this "incident-that-changed-my-life" happened, i do have some goals which i intend to fulfill before i graduate from poly. And people are able to roughly gauge how long i have been aiming at these goals to fulfill.

Now the dust have settled, mind more clear and focus, i re-evaluate the goals to see whether i should make it a more affordable and realistic method to fulfill.

But to my horror, surprise, amazement and even to the extent where my jaws are drop, when i see the end results, i still can fulfill it right after i finish poly.

This could mean one thing, either the incident is a major blip that distract me or to prove people wrong. Whichever way you look at it, im not bothered. My only concern right now, is to fulfill these goals. Also in a way, the values that taught to me long ago, makes it all the more easier.

Heavy Heart

Im writing this post with a heavy heart.

The incident had been over a week, but it doesnt escape my notice for the damages been done. People have been telling me to prove them wrong. But to what extent do i have to prove them wrong?

Quit studies? Come out and work full time? Delete every contact and remain contactless for a period of time? Go for plastic surgery, change name, change everything and live a new life? or better still, die could be the best solution. If there is a better suggestion, pls tell me.

I do prove people wrong in the past because im not that kind of person that they have mentioned. But this time round, to prove people wrong is going to be the hardest. Im not going to put a timeline because of people's impressions. It not going to be an overnight changes. I know that i dont deserve a second chance for it but then again, every man for himself.

Ultimately, life still have to go on. For me, life has never been easy ever since a long time ago (again a long story, only people who know, i can count with one hand)

Im not that naive anymore, in a way, this incident have taught me and open my eyes. Good friends forever? Best buddies? Let me know if you still could find one during bad times.

Where in the world is World Bank??

Before the airing of this week Channel 8 "In Focus" where the topic is currently on US economy, i just couldnt help it but have a very bad feeling about a certain organization didnt help out or lend a hand.

Let me see if i miss out anything in the chain of events starting from Sunday.

- Lehman Brothers' file for bankruptcy protection.
- Merrill Lynch sold to Bank of America
- Federal Reserves pump in money to AIG
- Central banks around the world unite together to fight credit crisis
- Morgan Stanley is up for sale (latest update as of now)

Yet, there was no mention of World Bank since Sunday. Not a single word or sentence from Internet website, newspaper or any reports about World Bank.

Hmm...

Update: This is what i heard from my tutor that World Bank's objective is to help a country to develop and not to help individual banks who were reckless in their operations.

Stigma

Problem solved. Burden off.

But this incident is going to change me forever. I dont think i will ever be the person whom you once knew.

I believe this stigma will follow me for the rest of my life.

Learnt alot of life lessons along the way.

Silver lining

"Like a complacent soldier who thinks that knows everything, went unprepared for war. Without combat gear or weapons for self-defence, he went to the country that he intend to invade, "i want to invade your country."

The above scenario is just like me at the moment. Fully unprepared, going in with confidence and with an arrogant swagger. And came back with bruised ego, physical and mental scars to bear.

Yet, God is not totally unforgiven or turned a blind eye towards me. These few weeks i have observed the following

• Time - To God, time is nothing to Him. He have waited 2000 years to send His Son down to die on the cross for us. I have fear for the worst whenever the deadline is coming, yet God unwillingly extend the time for me through indirect help.
  
• The least expected people that i will turn to help, contact me and ask me what happening. I didnt reveal what has happened, neither did i ask them for help. But still, i was touched and surprised by the gesture.
  

Guess God really have His own ways to help His people.

Confession

I believe no one knows about this. That i do have the intention to quit my studies last year. It has nothing to do with the education system.

But rather the thought of coming out to work full time to help, support, supplement and solve my family problems. With a full time working pay slip, to get a loan from bank doesnt sound as hard as from a full time student perspective.

Somehow, it has become a cycle that repeating itself. The only thing is a matter of time on how hard, how swift and how fast it will hit me the hardest.

I donno whether this ordeal will make me a stronger person, or a person who give a second look and hesitates about life. Sounds like a double-edged sword.

And to top all this, i will be cutting off contacts indefinitely to minimize misunderstanding. Just need a little understanding from you guys. My apologises ahead.

Prayer to God

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the salvation that you given to me 9 years ago. Thank you for the mercy, love and grace that you have given it to me, freely and in abundance. Thank you for watching over my family despite the problems that they face all these years. Thank you for watching over my grandma even though her memory is failing and the medication that she have to take for the rest of her life.

I bow down before you in the throne of Grace that i have sinned. I am currently a man of no faith as i relied on men for help, and not You. I have not been a good testimonial as a child of God. You given me trials and tribulations to make me grow spiritually, and have faith in You. Yet, i take the easy way out by avoiding them than to go through and learn from it. I dont deserve to be a child of God for the things that i have done. All i seek is Your forgiveness and that i repent and not to do it again. I know that this mistake that i done is too big and too much for me to handle and through this incident, it will keep in my memory for life.

Hopefully this incident will open my eyes and come back to You. I know that You are the only one that could deliver me out of this hole and able to sustain me throughout the whole ordeal. May i have the faith, the size of a mustard seed, in You that You able to help me.

Pray Lord that You will watch over me and my family. Pray Lord that i able to have the faith in You. Pray Lord that i able to come back to Your place for fellowship, sing praises and glorified Your name in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Will like to commit this prayer into Your hands, commit all these things onto You, Pray all these in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Lowest ebb of my life

im sad to declare that im now going through the darkest period of my life. the lowest ebb of my life right now.

this feeling is worse than having a girl's rejection. i have lost everything like freedom, my smile, my confidence and maybe my sanity. i have let everyone down, especially my family.

no mood for anything or everything such as study or attachment. these few days i either have no appetite or the food taste bland to me.

the help that i wanted so badly, did not materialise as it has been used to help my family. and i have to go through a route where only the brave dare to go.

for those who know the problem, pls keep it to yourself. i have no choice but to tell the truth to those people whom i can trust and able to help.

at the current moment, my hopes, dreams, ambitions are put on hold indefinitely.

this is my own doing. people have warned me before, yet i dont listen. and i have to go through the hard way now.

Clubbing experience

Yesterday was my maiden trip to MOS. In short, i wont say i dont like the place but is the music that is been played, not to my liking. Until now, i still cannot fathom how an area "Smoove" that is so small, squeezed until so many people? Is like taking a bus with trance music, and all the passengers squeezing together, dancing. Take this scenerio x 10 times.

One thing that i find it amusing was the main dance floor. Clubbers stand on a movable disc/plate that turns clockwise or anti-clockwise at a very slow speed.

And no, i didnt get to know any girls.

My very first experience in clubbing was way back in secondary school. Anyone still remembers Canto at Taka? That period of time is still belongs to ah-bengs and ah-lians. What got me interested was how clubbers shout with rhythm when the music stop. I think you can only see or hear this in Dragonfly. But i didnt go often as what you imagined as my interests at that time was computer games. =/

After that i stop clubbing due to NS. I wanted to but i cant due to the strict SOP from Police. That period of time, police raid in clubs were quite high as there were alot of cases of people taking Ecstasy. Shake head till there is no tomorrow.

It was only recently that i went back to clubbing after i got to know some barflies from Cowboybar. Gotham Penthouse, Zouk, St James.

Next week will be going to Dragonfly.

Preliminary?

Can any kind souls tell me what wrong with this picture?

An Expensive Breakfast

Just now met my friends for breakfast. An expensive and hilarious breakfast. And all thanks to my friend, i didnt get to eat anything.

We went to a nearby MacDonalds to have our breakfast. Right after we have finished ordering the food over the counter, one of my friend insisted on paying even though we know he is the most stingy guy.

Lo and behold, he take out a $1000 note and present it to the counter staff. When the counter staff saw it, her face went "WTF!!" Bwahahahaa, priceless expression. The most people will either fork out a $50 or $100 note, who will expect someone take out $1000 note and pay for breakfast.

Luckily, another friend of mine pay for the food, with a smaller denomination.

Because of this incident, i laughed until full already. And i make him treat me another round of breakfast, not MacDonalds the next time.

Evolution

As what Jaywalk have say, Internet is an evolution that now, just a type of one word can come out with so many results through Google, Yahoo! search engine.

And people who read other people's blog, dont expect just friends to see. There are also strangers, enemies and even tutors who will read your blog silently.

From a surprised "Huh!!" to "Oh ok." when tutors commented, "Hey, i read your blog."

Oh, forgotten to say this, "Welcome to my blog."

Forgive but never forget

It has come to a time where i can no longer hold grudges towards people who lie to me, who do things to end a friendship or a relationship.

To me, it has come to a time where i have to forgive people for what they have done. But i still cant forget the way they treat me as a friend.

In short, i can forgive but never forget.

But my stand remains: Stay at where it is. I cant foresee what other hurting methods these people can inflicted onto me if i let them back into my circle of friends.

Good or bad?

I dont know whether i should do it or not. Even if i did it, i dont know whether will it be good or bad for me.

This person, in particular, is not that bad as first thought. Is just that a series of incidents that she put herself in the front line and defend her friends were impressive. However, her way of expressing her own thoughts and comments can be misinterpreted and can make other people angry.

I have the rare experience of communicating to her through other form of medium which i wont disclose. The way she try to send her message across is not offensive but abit pushy. This is just a rough idea of what her personality is.

This post abit complicated as to her, im a stranger to her. Im a person whom she disliked the most. For me, what she have done to me, i have no hard feelings towards her. Currently i can only say this to her:

"You want people to accept you for who you are and what you are, you have to give some time for people to accept. It's not an overnight miracle. Maybe you have use the wrong words to express yourself and your friends. Sometimes, not all the time, you have to make yourself heard. Sometimes, silence is golden."

Oh well, i seriously dont know how it will goes. Im not expecting anything in return. I only hope that she able to know herself better and having a wider variety of words to express her thoughts or to send her message across.

Dreams - Plane crashed

Last night, i had a dream. I saw an aeroplane crashing infront of my house. The size of the plane was the biggest. Bigger than A380.

After i woke up, i still remembered the dream but didnt really bothered about it. But something tells me that there is an interpretation of the dream that i went online and check it.

True enough, what i dream has got to do with my ambitions and goals. Maybe i need to re-evaluate my goals setting, dreams and ambitions.

Taken from Dreammoods.com:

Airplane: To see an airplane in your dream, indicates that you will overcome your obstacles and rise above to a new level of prominence and status. You may experience a higher consciousness, new-found freedom and greater awareness.

To dream that a plane crashes, suggests that you have set overly high and unrealistic goals for yourself. Your goals may be too high and are impossible to realize. You are in danger of having it come crashing down. Alternatively, your lack of confidence, self-defeating attitude and self-doubt toward the goals you have set for yourself is represented by the crashing airplane; you do not believe in your ability to attain those goals. Loss of power and uncertainty in achieving your goals are also signified.

Break

I need a break. I have no idea when was the last time i went overseas.

The last 2 semester breaks i was working at Ministry of Transport (MOT). For the info, MOT is not under Land Transport Authority (LTA). LTA, CAAS and MPA (Maritime Port Authority) are under MOT. Is just that LTA have alot of projects, road development plans that are making the headlines. I do know some of the projects, but dont wish to remember.

And now, going to have 7 weeks of ITP at DP Information Network Pte Ltd.

Bah. 2 years of exerting the body.

I intend to go Australia next holidays. Anyone interested?

Life Advice (7): Trust

The last life advice.

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, 'Public Utilities Board.' There was silence. She repeated, 'PUB.' There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, 'Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is.'

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just 'hello' instead of 'PUB'

Life Advice (6): No pointing fingers

NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, 'Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?'

The father-in-law answered in a smile, 'Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.'

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

Life advice (5): Creating prefect relationships?

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested 'I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.' The SDU officer said, 'Your requirements, please.' 'Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.' The officer listened carefully and replied, 'I understand you need television.'

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

Life Advice (4): No Overpowering

NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character.'

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..

Mad about English!

Synopsis:
Since winning the bid to host the Olympics, China's citizens have been stricken with what they call 'ying wen re' - English fever! Beginning a passionate love affair with what was once the forbidden tongue of the 'decadent' West, "Mad About English!" follows the inspiring and heart-warming efforts of a city preparing to host the world by learning English. With half a million or more visitors expected during the games, the stakes are high for our endearing cast of characters for whom speaking English is now national service!

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Can i laugh at how the Chinese policeman using English in a creative way? Oh, and the usual word by word translation of the signboards, food menu and road sign.

No doubt that the efforts are there, but the expression of the foreigners in the movie is priceless!

Life advice (3): Be patient

BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery and saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, 'Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck.' Then he asked, 'but when are my fingers going to grow back?' The father went home and committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or you wish to take revenge. Think first before you lose your patience with someone you love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones and hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

Life Advice (2): Right Speech

Second life advice

RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation.' Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, 'Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school.' On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, 'Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker.' She answered,'You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you.'

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.